Note to Education Undergrads...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

I am grading the exams for the class I TA'ed.

82 exams.

82 exams with three essay questions.

If I read the phrase "Children are our future" one more time, I swear to god I am setting the whole stack of exams on fire.

As soon as I see this phrase, my eyes glaze over and I actually vomit in my mouth a little.

I think they are trying to inspire someone - but god knows who that person is..unless it is to inspire me to knock off four points of their possible ten....

Oh, and Education undergrads? Don't try to bullshit me. I KNOW what existentialism is - really. Like I have read Sartre and Camus - the real books, not just cliff notes. Throwing in words and phrases that you honestly don't know anything about will confuse me a little at first, but then it will annoy me. That does not bode well for your final grade.

In addition, the phrases "cultural mosaic", "melting pot of diversity", and "Teaching multiculturalism will help curb racism/intolerance" also pisses me off a little - cause I did a Masters Thesis on this topic. I'm not one of those feel good politically correct white people.

"Children are our future" .....hahhahahhhahahhahhhahahhhahha.

Victim of Urban Crime

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I suppose it was bound to happen. We live in a big city, after all. Yes. I am referring to urban crime.

Now, we are the family who never had keys to our house in New Hampshire. In 14 years, I never had a key to my house. That is because we never locked our doors. Ever.

Yes. We have had a gnome-napping.

His friends have gone into mourning as evidenced by their hats....

No demands have been issued and no ransom notes received. I only hope he was not sold into gnome slavery, or is in a scene like the gimp in Pulp Fiction - living in a box with a ball gag, being anally raped by a guy named Bubba.

Farewell, Gnome #1 - we hardly knew ye.

Persephone and Poseidon

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

As of late, Emily has grown enamored of Greek Myths. I read to her from the same book I read my first versions of Greek Myths - and she is simply fascinated. Of course, this explains many of the paintings she has seen in Museums in much better detail - The longing of Echo staring at Narcissus, the Hunt of Artemis, the rising of Aphrodite from the sea. She now understands why shoes are Nike's - who was the winged goddess of victory who accompanied Ares.

These stories are opening up the same worlds they opened for me. The larger world of literature and the timelessness of stories. I hope to someday read her the Odyssey - the same way I was read the Odyssey by my step father when I was 12.

So, imagine my joy when I found this near her bed today. Apparently, she is doing some thinking and writing.

Now, for a child like Emily I view this as major work. Writing is difficult for her, but is improving. Reading has been slow and steady. She is smart, but has the challenges of her slight brain injury, her sensory integration and her ADD ( non-medicated)with which to contend.

She may never win a sports event. She may never do math in her head. But, this is my girl. My beautiful, imaginative girl. She listens to me read to her and her imagination blossoms and takes root. In these pages, I see her future and know that I have done good things.

(P.s. I know Persephone is not the goddess of Spring. Em has her confused with Demeter - who is Persephone's mother - who was so happy when Persephone returned from Hades palace that Spring arrived. Sadly, this story has made Em very suspicious of pomegranates...)

If your name is Denise, do not read this...

Saturday, April 14, 2007

I am so tickled with the way this has come out that I simply have to share.

Now we have established that I, in my "fun manic" way, often have several projects going at the same time. Believe it or not, it calms me down to have these things to do, focuses my mind...lets me think.

A few months ago, I was in a boutique in Westmount when I saw these patterns. I was overjoyed. I knew for whom these were PERFECT as gifts ( This is the part where if you are De-De and this hasn't arrived at your door yet, stop reading and wait for it!)

Yes, this is a Lucha Libre embroidered ...thing, for lack of a better description. I guess I kind of assume that she will frame it with some kind of awesome brought from Guatemala frame or most likely something she makes herself for her decorating skills are stupendous.

I had never embroidered anything...Cross Stitch and quilting - with the occasional braided rug thrown in sure, but embroidery? So I improvised. You can simply do outlines, but those masks deserved full color attention in my opinion. I got to use the metallic floss and it really made the pieces I used it on pop - It looks very folk art, so will be at home in Denise's Lovely home.

If any of you are intrigued...the company has some very charming designs. Suffice it to say that there are a few others that are on my to-do list, as they have been purchased and are sitting in stand by mode.

Now, I must begin cutting the fabric for my brothers wedding quilt...

How do YOU feel about the Neo-Vygotskian Approach?

Monday, April 09, 2007

Um, Yeah. This is what the bed of a PhD student looks like as she is writing a proposal due on Wednesday...that she really hasn't started writing yet, cause she is still mapping out the literature review in her mind.

Thought I would share my little slice of hell.

Revenge is a dish best served cold...and at 2 a.m.

Friday, April 06, 2007

So, people. You thought perhaps that I had forgotten and forgiven the whole shaving incident. You thought, since I had not pissed on anything (at least that you have found yet) and had been using my litterbox like a good girl that things had returned to normal.

But NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! My nefarious plan is revealed. No one in this house will sleep EVER AGAIN!

Yeah, I see you with the camera , you silly grinning whore. I'm starting with him, but we both know I will be on you at 4 a.m. You see, I like to wait until I am sure you are asleep. That is when I launch the attack. I climb to the highest point, what I like to call "Mount Terrance" and warm him up with my little claw dance of love. Notice how my claws have grown back nicely. Take that suck-ahs.

Then, I settle in and begin to purr. Not a normal purr, mind you. Not the pitiful purr I gave when you first found me. No this is a high octane, Fast and Furious Tokoyo Nights fueled purr. I ROCK this purr. I make it so loud that it wakes who ever I have made my bower for the moment. And when the two of you get sick of me, I run into the kids room and leap at her hair as if it is my prey, making her wake up and scream. It is a beautiful sound.

Oh, and the wet cat food. I am pretty sure that it was just a hairball that made me puke it up and not my imminent poisoning, but I LOVED how it made the punk ass bitch run out and buy the all organic wet and dry cat food - made with real table scraps. How much did that shit run you? I'm pretty sure it is more than the 59 cents a can you were paying for that other brand.

Put the camera away. Cause as soon as I hear you fall asleep, I'm coming for you. Oh, and for you - special, cause I like you - I'll be throwing in the "attack the foot cause I think it is a rat under the covers" move. Nothing like a biting cat on the foot at 3 a.m. to snap you awake might quick. Now who's laughing?
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