Emily: What is up with those commercials?
Me: The transvaginal mesh commercials? Yeah, they are kind of terrifying. (I am reading student papers)
Emily: Why on earth would you get something like that?
Me: My guess is that is has to do with issues once you have a baby and your pelvic floor goes to hell.
Me: (Putting aside papers) Well, yeah. Once you have a baby you really need to be doing your Kegels to make sure that everything stays in place...and your bladder and uterus don't need to be meshed into place.
Me: You know what Kegels are...right?
Emily: No, Mom. I don't.
Me: Well, they are kind of like....pushups for your vagina.
Emily: You're kidding me.....right?
Me: No. I am serious.
Emily: (laughing) How do you do them?
Me: Well - you know when you are peeing and you can squeeze to stop your urine? That's how you do a Kegel. You don't know when other people are doing them, you just do them whenever.
Emily: Do YOU do these?
Me: Oh yeah, honey. I do them all the time. I'm doing them right now and you have no idea. There is no way I am having my bladder and vagina fall out as I am walking down the street.
Emily: This is horrifying. Stop it.
Me: What? Doing Kegels? No. I just did ten more. You'll never know. I'll be driving you home and doing Kegels. Pushups for my vagina!
Emily: You are scarring me for life.
Me: That's my job!
|Am I doing Kegels? You'll never know......|