Impasse

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

I wouldn't say that I am at a truce with Emily's teacher.

No.

I would characterize it as being stopped at a red light, and eyeballing the asshole in the car next to you who is going to try to cut you off as soon as the light turns green while making that split second decision as to whether you are going to Gun it OR just let them pass you while pretending not to notice.

Most of the parents at the school with whom I have spoken have nearly all said the same thing - Leave it alone. Some of those parents have had issues with the same teacher and they have all, one by one, said to me "You can't win. She won't change."

Add into this consideration the news that it is the fifth grade report cards that the high schools look at here in Montreal when they make their admission decisions. If she wants to be considered for the better high schools, she needs to have a strong report card. Pissing off the teacher and writing about her on the internet is NOT, I hear, the way to help your child get to a strong report card.

In fact, one of the Moms got into such a panic when I told he I was writing about the teacher on my blog that she infected me with some of her panic. Like when the lead gazelle bolts with no predator in sight. "You can't do that" she whispered to me. "If she sees this, that's it - your daughter will never get into a good high school...."

At which point all my self critical voices jumped onto that whisper and began to echo the thought. In fifteen short minutes, I spiraled to Emily in her mid 30's, unemployed and still living at home fighting with me about how I ruined her chances in life during 5th grade by opening my big mouth and writing about her teacher.

Thankfully, the other voice - the one that gets irascible and feisty when told not to do something? She put a chokehold on the critical voices and put an end to that pretty darn quickly.

So, we wait. Interim report cards just came out and Em seems to be doing fine. She complains about the amount of homework she has - but what 5th grader doesn't? She doesn't seem to love this teacher, but she doesn't seem to hate her either.

Terrance and I were always attentive to Emily's homework and we are more attentive now. From the perspective of Emily, she doesn't really talk about what she has learned. She and her father and I go over her homework and make sure she understands the work - be it grammar, math or science.

Being the academic geeks we are, Terrance and I correct the mistakes in the textbook and send in detailed explanations as to WHY the word defend can not be paired with the suffix "able" unless one is using it during a legal argument OR why the use of the suffix "ture" is incorrect. It SHOULD be the suffix "ure", but due to a multitude of words USING the "ure" suffix ending with the letter "T", it is commonly mistakenly assumed to BE "Ture"...

She must LOVE us. I can only imagine she is Dreaming of the parent conference day when Emily's parents come in to visit. We never get answers back - just more of our anal retentive fussing into the lightless void.

Yep. Two years of this, as Em will have her for 5th and 6th grade.

Still deciding whether to hit the gas, or let it pass....

8 Baleful Regards:

Jaelithe said...

You are making me feel so much less neurotic.

Seriously.

It's all I can do not to march through my son's school with a red pen to correct any and all spelling errors on printed signs posted in the hallways.

Goddess of Madness said...

Did you ever get the T-shirts? *ducks*

Kikilia said...

I think I'd have requested a different teacher by now... I think I'd lose my mind of two years with this woman-

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
This is totally off topic, but I hope not off limits...Reading about you and your husband makes me wonder if you two have decided to reconcile?

Dawn said...

In the words of Garrison Keillor,
We are still together. Just had our 13th wedding anniversary on Monday, in fact.

Day by Day. But things are quiet right now.

Dawn said...

And GOM - Got the shirts - LAST THURSDAY.

Grrrrrrrrr

Anonymous said...

If people like us don't say what needs to be said, we will fry painful toxic megadeaths. I just got in big hot water at work because the VP of marketing announced their new campaign, which has already gone to press...
"Exceptional happens here."
I nearly spit my beverage out, but managed to swallow before asking the presenter to repeat that slogan, as I could NOT have heard that correctly!
When, indeed, the slogan was repeated, one colleague said, "Yeah, and how about, 'Illiterate happens here?
"
"Folks," I pleaded. "It's an adjective!" Needless to say, not making any friends in high places.

My point is, say your piece, do your thing, pay the price. It's the only way. If our offspring have to work harder for what they obtain because of their mothers' big mouths, let it be the worst thing they have to tell their therapists.

Amanda said...

I'm with annon. above. Give her the tools to have a high paying career that can afford expensive therapy sessions.

 
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