Opening Volley

Friday, September 03, 2010

You know, I try. I honestly do. I don't ever start out as a raving lunatic. But People, certain people, well they just PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE.

One of those being Emily's Teacher. For whom I have many private names,  none of which shall be shared publicly.

Yep. Against all hope, meditation, and small animal and child sacrifices, her teacher did not retire over the summer. The Same teacher from last year is with us again this year.

With a summer away from this miserable specimen of humanity, I had almost forgotten the brand of craptastic crap she can say in any given day.

So, we sent Em off to school on Tuesday. All seems quiet. There is a new principal who seems fresh and no-nonsense.  Perhaps this year will be smoother. Perhaps this teacher has learned from the fury I visited down upon her Last year to Leave This Mother Alone. Do not throw rocks in the direction of this Mother. Do not poke this mother with a stick to see if she will open her eyes. Do not taunt or otherwise wave obvious battle regalia in front of the mother. Do not give weak explanations for stupid decisions you can not back up, because THIS mother...she is smart. And she does not suffer bullies well.

Today, I pick Em up. It is a hot day. All this week, they have been going swimming and taking field trips to ease everyone back into school. No homework has been assigned (not counting the thesis-level-stack-of-forms I have to fill out).

Em hops into the car, and immediately starts reminding me that we have to buy her exercise books. You know, those little papery composition books? Apparently they were on the list, and I forgot to buy them. No big, I think - we will pick them up on Saturday. Everything else that was on the mammoth sized list was sent in on Tuesday.

I turn to Em and say "Emily. You have already reminded me about those books. I told you we would pick them up on Saturday. What is the big deal - you don't have homework, do you? And have we EVER sent you to school without the supplies you need? Ever? In all of your life? "

Em pauses.  She says "No....but...."

"But what?", I say.

"When I told Mrs X that I didn't have the books yet and I was going to get them on Saturday, she said  "You're an only child, right? Didn't your parents have all summer to get the things on the list? Its not like they have six other kids to take care of before you....""

It is fortunate that we are now a good ways from the school, since I most likely would have had to speak with Mrs X about this little comment had we been within a 2 block radius. Of all the rotten, shitty, bitchy ass things to say to a 12 year old!

I simmer. "Did you tell her we were too busy sending you to camps and wonderful vacations BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ONLY CHILD?"

Emily giggles, softly.

"How about this", I say,"My parents just took me and my best friend to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for 10 days BECAUSE I AM AN ONLY CHILD!"

"Yeah", Em says, "I wanted to say "Hey - "we were kind of Busy", but I didn't want to aggravate her, so I said nothing."

"Lets just get through the year, sweetie - then we never have to see this Hobgoblin again."

13 Baleful Regards:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Em. When will she be hosting her seminar on Calm Patience in the Face of Total Numbskulls? Because I could use a little of what she's got.

Amira said...

She said WHAAAT?? Her comment sure is...beat down worthy.

Let's hope that you're not jinxing yourself every time you say something like "then we'll never have to see her again."

Bethany said...

Have 15 different things running through my mind about this and can't decide what to write. I will just write the first thing that came to mind:

Awww shit.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...



Try DEMENTOR because this woman who needs a fucking SOUL is trying to suck the life out of your daughter's. Good grief.

sweatpantsmom said...

Oh, I think it's time to TAKE HER DOWN!!!

Better yet, can you anonymously send her a link to your blog?

Dawn said...

Terrance (upon having me tell him this"

"What?! WHAT?! She is lucky I wasn't the one picking Emily up, cause I would have had to put my foot in this bitchs ass."

Instead, we have already decided to have a meeting with the new principal, to introduce ourselves and bring her up to speed on the whole scenario.

Anonymous said...

What an absolutely incompetent cow! Hope you bring her down.

jwg said...

Well, if nothing else this should lead to some great blogging! Seriously, it really is time to mount a concerted campaign to bring the bitch down. Since she is never going to retire you owe it to the next batch going through! Did she loop with the class or is it a 2 year program?

Ginnysicle said...

Bwahahahaha, your reaction is exactly what my mother would have said, too. I do have a "ton of other kids" (two kids and two stepkids-it's my personal rebellion against my mother and her only childness), and generally, I'm the crazy over acheiver that checks and double checks the list and gets the "teacher wish list" items, and a complete extra set of supplies. However, we all make mistakes and overlook things, and I would blow a gasket if some demanding bitch made passive-aggressive remarks to my kid because I didn't follow her ransom note word for word. What a hag. Most of the kids in my district can barely afford what they need (hence the extra set of supplies mentioned above), and it would humiliate both them and their parents for a teacher to make a remark like that. And then of course there's the very obvious fact that she shouldn't be addressing it with your child in the first place. She's 12, it's not like she waitresses after school to make money to buy her own supplies. If it was really soooo important, she should have sent you a note. I'm looking forward to the update after you stomp Mrs. Passive-Aggressive a new one.

Petrat said...

She has to be a huge freaking idiot to go to the mat with you... AGAIN. I mean seriously.

roo said...

Let's be clear-- she didn't even need the composition books yet, and the teacher was getting all up in her grill, and bringing her personal life into it to boot? What business of hers is it if one of her students is an only child, and what does she know about your home life that would privilege a remark like that?

I hope you have a nice talk with the principal.

Amanda said...

Oh, no. She didn't. Already. People never cease to amaze me. Did she learn nothing from last year?

Sherri said...

omg...I can't believe the teacher actually said that, the nerve.
I enjoyed your posts.
just found your blog today


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