The week is going to get better, right?

Monday, February 07, 2011

Today started like any other day.

Well, really it didn't. When today really started, at midnight last night, I was racing through the house searching for witch hazel and hydro-cortisone.  Why?

Well, money has been a bit "tight" here.  I've been minimally employed for about a year now and despite my best efforts at pretending I'd rejected such old fashioned concepts like "money", the dwindling amount in my bank account has finally caught up with me/us.

So, I have been looking for ways to conserve my output of cash. This has led to me putting things like "Salon based pubic hair removal" on the absolute back burner.

By Saturday, I just couldn't take it anymore. I mean, it had been nearly 3 MONTHS. Ladies, I implore you. Consider your legs or armpits after 3 MONTHS of neglect. It was like the heart of darkness in my thong. I decided to shave. I mean, millions of women shave, right?  This isn't rocket science.

So by Sunday when the terrible razor burn rash had spread EVERYWHERE, I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. I had exfoliated. I used my bump stopped afterwards and continued to apply lotion all day. At one point on Sunday, as Terrance and I were grocery shopping and I was walking like my pants were literally on fire he stopped me to inquire if something was wrong.

"I don't know but if I don't get home and get these underwear off soon, I think I am going to die."

Sexy words in some contexts, but not when your wife is glaring at you with malice and speaking through her clenched teeth.

Which led me, eventually, to the racing through the house,opening cupboards and rifling through baskets of things desperate for some relief.

When none seemed forthcoming I did what any New England girl would do: Lotion up my crotch with Bag Balm and called it a night.

It seemed to help, at least enough to get to sleep.

When I did wake, it was to the dulcet sounds of

"Hrrgh- Hrrgh-Hrrgh"

and Terrance saying "OH MY GOD, THE CAT IS GOING TO PUKE ON YOUR RUG!" - while making no effort to save the rug from the forthcoming vomit.

Then he stared at me while I cleaned as much cat puke off the rug as possible, then put on pants and carried the rug outside to pack it in snow.

I also started a real job search last week. As in "Dawn now gets emails everyday with jobs that match her education criterion and then she gets to weed through all the places she doesn't want to live before sending off one CV a day to places that never contact her".

I suspect more than one of you feel my pain on this front.

And now I am going to apply more bag balm and figure out a way to save/earn money, because I am too old to have my crotch on fire for THIS reason.


4 Baleful Regards:

Rebecca said...

I don't know if this week is going to get better or not. But I can tell you mine has started out pretty crappy. I am also about done with this doctoral student no money/marginally employed thing. I like school, but I also like being able to support myself.

Mary_Flashlight said...

I use clippers on mine - because anything shaved close to the skin results in the kind of issue you're having. Plus such severe ingrown hairs that I have scarring. And I don't do wax in that area.
But on Saturday morning, I got "smart" and took off the guard for a sec. Did you know you have to keep pressure on a cut in that area for a LONG time?

yarnwhore said...

I do a landing strip, so clipper everything with the guard set low, then Veet around with the little razor-shaped thing that Veet gives you.

Hillbilly Princess said...

Magic Cream works wonders, I hear. I just shave and have no issues, but Magic Cream is designed to avoid the bumpy, ingrown hair issues.

 
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