A Cautionary Tale

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

-Montreal, Canada

Yesterday morning a Pair of shoes was spotted and declared "the most evil shoes to ever exist". This declaration followed the assertion by a male parent that a "type" of shoe needed to be worn, since Gym was one of the subjects on the school schedule.

The victim stormed through the house, shouting loudly that other people didn't need to wear Gym shoes to Gym...that her friend "X" wore Crocs all YEAR through gym last year and "never fell or hurt her self or anything". Following this shocking revelation, an argument ensued about the relative physical fitness merits of Ballerina flats in pink camo with glitter on the toes.

When faced with dual parents declaring that YES, she would wear these shoes for gym, the wily victim changed tactics, declaring the gym shoes "Too small" and "Hurt her feet". Upon closer examination, it was revealed that the shoes in question had very recently been purchased and  were, in fact, fitting perfectly.

Denied the opportunity to go to gym with either the glitter pink Crocs or the glitter camo ballerina flats, the victim sulked the entire walk to school, dragging her feet dramatically to show her deep and heartfelt opposition to this demonic and oppressive footwear.

Children should keep alert to any and all practical fashion choices which deny them the chance to break their ankles during gym, a claim which the victim decried as "impossible and stupid".

"My life is ruined", the victim was heard to say as she entered the school.


The offensive shoes pictured above. Beware.

Sept 6, 2007 Gimlet Eye

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