Yes - this may be too much information, but I am concerned for you all and want this to serve as a cautionary tale.
Last weekend, I purchased a lovely little vibrator.
My sexual health aside, I thought this was a lovely little addition to my collection of toys. Small, easily portable and made my one of my favorite adult toy companies, the Fun Factory. Those Germans! They make great sex toys!
Last Sunday, I decided to give it test run. I was alone ( super bowl) and thought
"Hey, a nice hot shower and my new potential friend could be lovely!"
With child firmly asleep, I headed off to my shower with toy in hand. Woo Hoo!
I get in and switch it on. Ooooooh. Nice.
But... having a little trouble with the top part - where the batteries go in. Doesn't want to stay firmly on.
Now, normally this would not cause me concern. However, when using any electrically driven appliance, even those that are waterproof and approved for shower use, one naturally is cautious about exposing the inner parts to the shower spray.
I step out of the shower, dry and re-attach the top.
Back in I go, with toy in hand. I begin to relax. Ah yes. I see a long and happy relationship with you Layaspot vibe.
And then it happens. The top pops off again and to my horror, my wet lady parts come into contact with the batteries.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
I will spare you the language which was uttered as the vibe was thrown out of the shower. It was salty. I had just mini-electrocuted myself. Perhaps God was giving me a little "self abuse" lesson?
When I had composed myself and exited the shower, I returned to the box to figure out what the hell had gone horribly, horribly wrong. I had, in fact, failed to read the instructions prior to attempting to use my new toy. I mean - I ASSUMED that I understood the basic function of the device. Did I really need to read the directions?
Yes, I did. For you see, in my haste, I was attempting to use the wrong end. Which was clearly pointed out to me in the diagram in the box. Which I read. Thoroughly.