Actual Conversation between Dawn and Terrance.
Dawn is in Montreal with Emily ( where yet another #$@t^q&%$ snowstorm is occurring) and Terrance is in New York City where he is staying at the Hudson - a fabulously gorgeous hotel.
Dawn: "Hi Hon."
Terrance: "Hey, hows everything there?"
Dawn: "Snowing. Same as always."
Terrance: "Whatcha doin'?"
Dawn: "Dishes and Laundry and feeding your child before she calls some higher power on me to report that she hasn't been served the gourmet meal she demands."
Terrance: "Oh. Ok. Anything you want me to pick up in the city?"
Dawn: "Yes. The lip balm. I want the Bigelow lip balm. Number 1129, no shine. I want at least four tubes of lip balm cause I am digging out the last of my tube with my fingernail and smearing it across my arid lips."
Terrance: "Ok Lip Balm. Got it. Talk to to you later."
Dawn: "K - love you - bye"
Four Minutes Later
Dawn: " Yes Hon, what is it?"
Terrance: "Hey I am looking at a display of Burts Bees stuff. Do you want THEIR lip balm?"
Dawn: "No. I want Bigelow lip balm. But you can get me the coconut foot cream from Burts bees if you'd like. I noticed you used the last of my tube."
Terrance: "Ok, and I'm going to get you one of their lip balms too."
Dawn: "OK, But I still want the Bigelow lip balm. Number 1129, no shine. In the black tube."
Terrance: "K- Bye"
Three point seven minutes later
Dawn: "Yes? What do you need?"
Terrance: "Hey, which DVD did Emily want again?"
Dawn: "The new one - The new Hannah Montana one."
Terrance: "Ok Bye"
Eight full minutes Pass
Terrance: "So I am looking at the DVD's - which one is the new one?"
Dawn: "One in a Million , I think. Just look at the cover and see which one has "DVD 2008" in the corner. THATS the new one."
Terrance: "I don't see a date on the corner."
Dawn: "Terrance - there is a block on the right hand corner that says DVD release and the Year. It's as clear as day. It stands off to the side. Or just ask which is the newest one."
Terrance: " I don't see it anywhere - I'm looking right at it and the cover doesn't have a date anywhere."
Dawn: "That's impossible - LOOK AT THE CORNER."
Terrance: "I'm Looking at the corner and there is not a date ANYWHERE on this box. There is NO Dat....Oh. There it is DVD release 2008."
Dawn: "Thats the newest one then - OK?"
Terrance: "All right then..."
Would you believe that he called me AGAIN from the Bigelow store to
1. Ask what kind of lip balm I wanted
2. Complain about how much the lip balm I wanted cost
3. Confirm that he had purchased not the requested 4 tubes, but only three because he felt that it was too much to pay for lip balm and besides, he had gotten me a Burts Bee lip balm, so I had 4 in total.
Is it any wonder that I take medication?