Honestly....Why me?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

So, we know my daughter asks me questions about the purpose of the penis....

I got another one today.

We were strolling in a bookstore this afternoon. There was a display of stuffed animals made in the shape of common or deadly virus/bacteria.

Emily picks them up one by one and hands them to me to read. She also requests that I tell her What they do to the human body.

I'm doing all right. We've  got the common cold, Sore throat, Bad breath...Hell, we even have Mad Cow.

Then, it comes. This one.

Good old Gonorrhea.

"What's this one do, Mama?" she asks.

I stutter. I hem.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that one", I reply.

Another mother in the store starts to giggle.

"MAMA! What's it do?", she insists.

"Um, It's a disease that adults get." How much information will satisfy her?

"Yes, but where? Does it make you throw up?"

The other mother is in outright laughter now.

"No, baby, I don't think so. But let's just say that is an adult disease and I hope that I never have to talk about this with you ever again in your life - Now, don't you want some ice cream?"

She is diverted. She drops "The clap" and walks to the door.

Thank you Ben and Jerry's, for you have saved my sorry ass once again.

6 Baleful Regards:

Kirsten said...

LMAO Thank you for that laugh!

Oh the joys I see coming into my future!

MarciaAnn said...

Ben & Jerry's the life elixir to us all. Nicely averted!

Bethany said...

Who would have figured the clap would be cute and blue?

Andey Layne said...

Who in the holy hell thought that gonorrhea would make a good plushie? Marketing FAIL.

kathy said...

Well, Ben & Jerry's the life elixir to us all. Nicely averted!

Goddess of Madness said...

Charlotte on a trip to Victoria with my ex returned with a present for me. My ex could not stop laughing as she presented me with "The Sunny Guy" which he swore he had nothing to do with. Sunny Guy? The herpes virus in stuffy form.

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