Belly Roll. Not to be confused with Jelly Roll

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Which is kind of how we got here, winter belly.

Me and you. We had a good deal of fun this winter, no? The pastries. The breads. The deliciousness of the mint mocha lattes at Starbucks. The wonder of that damn Maple Log thing they make at the grocery store...

I noticed you waited until almost February to make your "Hail Mary" play. Yep. Up until then, I had been faithfully sticking to the 3 times a week Yoga. It had been cold, but I was still walking some every day. I got cocky. I see that now.

I had been lulled into believing that you would not be making your traditional appearance. My new "lifestyle" had beaten you into submission.

Alas. I was quite wrong, ,for that is when the bitter cold spell hit. The brutal bitter, kick you in the teeth spell in February and a little bit in March. I gave up the Yoga. Too cold. Too tired. Too sick of winter.

I ramped up the eating, after all - I had eaten this way all winter with nary a consequence. WOOO-HOOOO.

It was last week, when I stepped out of my shower that I saw you. The overhang. The perma-line that denotes where the roll sits. The past six weeks of debauchery was sitting there, smiling at me - and not in an attractive way. No, more like the smile the Romans must have given the gladiators before the lions rushed out. Mocking, yet still trying to be unobtrusive.

Today, I threw the capri pants on and I saw you clearly, belly roll.The pants which were practically falling off of me in September were now being nicely held by your round bulginess.

You'll notice, belly roll, the extended walk this morning. You'll notice, belly roll, that I grocery shopped today after my meeting. You'll notice, belly roll, that you are in for a low carb lifestyle again. I know you have some kind of inkling, cause the desire to shove my face into the Maple log is nearly irresistible. Well Played, Belly roll.

However, I pat you and fondly wish you adieu.

10 Baleful Regards:

Fraulein N said...

Oh. Maybe I should start speaking more nicely to my own belly roll? Because bitching it out is getting me nowhere.

Ash said...

I'm thinking I will be saying the same thing to my belly roll. sadly it never seemed to quite leave after the first baby, I'm wondering if it will make it's presence even more known after this second one.

The belly and I are not on friendly terms.

Jess said...

This reminds me of a moment last week when I tried to pull on a pair of work pants that fit last fall.

"Why, hello, Muffin Top. We meet again."

madge said...

Muffin TOP!?!

I'm sporting the Muffin Top, Middle and Bottom. Damn you, Girl Scouts of America!

Nancy said...

Yeah, I've got the Belly Roll, the Jellied Arms, and the Cottage Cheese Thighs. It's like a damn grocery store over here.

raejean said...

Each time I read this, I laugh more and more. Then I look down and sigh........

Becky said...

you make me laugh Dawn...:o)

Mom101 said...

And...this is why all the gyms start kicking in their big sales right about now. You've still got a few good yoga months until bathing suit season. Fret not.

TB said...

Yeah, from someone who's about to have the mother of all belly rolls, I feel your pain.
Hold me, I'm scared.

Lisa said...

I think my belly roll may be able to beat up YOUR belly roll. Course if it can't, my ass flab is ready to rumble as well.

 
◄Design by Pocket