This morning I was in the Shower getting ready for work.
I hear Emily walk in to use the toilet.
I peek out to remind her to NOT FLUSH because I will be boiled if she does.
She nods in agreement.
I peek my head back out of the shower - Can she hand me my toothbrush when she is done?
"Sure", she says and stands straight up from the toilet - pulling her panties up as she does.
"HEY!", I exclaim. "Do you plan on using toilet paper at any point after that transaction there?"
She sighs - heavily - and very dramatically pulls her undies down and reaches for the TP. She then makes a ridiculous amount of show by wiping and throwing the paper into the toilet.
I remain frozen, mouth agape, staring at my child.
"What was the hurry there? Were you missing out on a once in a lifetime sighting of the Yeti? Honey - you HAVE to wipe yourself. It is probably the reason you get itchy..."
She rolls her eyes in my general direction and reaches for my toothbrush.
"Here", she deadpans, handing me my toothbrush. And walks out of the bathroom and turns off my light.