Vignette One:
Monday Night, 9:45 p.m.
After drinking a massive mug of peppermint tea, I make my way to the bathroom. Upon entering, there is the heavy aroma of bleach. I remove comfy pants and sit down upon the receptacle.
I realize I am sitting in what can only be a puddle of bleach. I exhale. Deeply.
I stand....I clean the bleach from my bottom. I clean the bleach from the toilet seat. Inhale, Exhale.
I exit.
Dawn: "Terrance? Did you decide to bleach the toilet and seat for some, unknown reason sometime within the last hour?"
Terrance: "oh, Yeah. Why?"
Dawn: "Because I just SAT in it. If I wanted anal bleaching, I could arrange for that at a "specialty spa". And WHO decides to bleach toilet at ten o clock at night? What is Wrong with you?"
Vignette Two:
My Facebook Status Update at 12:03 a.m.
Every night - without fail - my cat decides to defecate in his litter box...At Midnight. Since I am 1) the only person who is awake and 2) the only person who CLEANS the litterbox I trudge out to take care of it. Why? you ask. Well, if the litter isn't clean enough, he will try to use the Rabbit litter boxes. And they will protest by pissing everywhere. Its like a terrible defecation domino effect. Without communism
Photographic Proof Of Said Rabbit(s) and their expressed displeasure:
1 Baleful Regards:
I love your postings more and more ... "I could arrange for that at a 'specialty spa.' ... priceless
I'm still trying to decide which of the "boys" at my house, my 39 yr old husband, my 22 yr old nephew or my 19 yr old son continues to be so lazy he cannot lift up the seat to pee and continually leaves a droplet of piss behind only for my behind to find said droplet upon the 5:30a, just shut off the alarm clock so I can get up to make hubby coffee stumble into the bathroom, sans glasses, to pee! None of them will cop to the drop!!!
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