Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I have been super angry lately. My medication, which I can adjust, just hasn't been doing it for me and I need to go back to my therapist for a tune up. I go tomorrow.

I graduated from graduate school in the beginning of August and for some reason, the lack of work is not helping me to work through this encroaching depression. Oddly it's like I am not used to the manic routinue of work, school, home, work, school, home.

My profession....Early Childhood Education. Seriously. So when the post partum depression hit big time - and then stayed.... Could my ego have taken a bigger hit? And that hit must have come when my infant was diagnosed as "failure to thrive" - a way to say "look at this shitty mother" if ever there was one.

Thank god, I haven't killed her yet. She seems healthy and growing. She is seven now.

I just want to be real. And be around real people. That's all you can ask for, people. Real.

0 Baleful Regards:

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