Friday, June 29, 2007
Oh, I see you there, laying on the bed with that damn camera, waiting for me to look at you.
Let's get something straight. You shave me in February. FEBRUARY IN MONTREAL! What the fuck is wrong with you? Who shaves a cat in FEBRUARY in freaking Montreal?
My fur FINALLY starts to grow back and I look like a deranged rat for two months. Do you know what the other cats say to me? Do you hear the birds mocking me? It is bad enough that I have a stump tail. Oh, Never mind, you silly whore.
Then, with half a fur coat in place, the heat SOARS to 33 C in Montreal. I am left trying to spread my now no longer naked ass as long as possible to try to cool off.
Not that this is any concern of yours, since you routinely mess with me as I try to sleep. Why did you think I would enjoy a fan being directed at me? I ask again, What the fuck is wrong with you?
You know where the irony really kicks in? You adopted me about a year ago. I have now suckered you into buying the organic cat food with the "human quality" ingredients...most of which I refuse to eat. I continue to piss on the stuff of the man, to whom I show my devotion by leaving my love juices on his prized possessions. Yeah, I hear him sputtering about this being the "last time" but I have him by the balls. He will never get rid of me as long as that kid is around...and by my count, she has at least ten more years here - so I am golden.
I'm watching you, bitch. Don't leave any of your beloved shoes on the ground, cause I got something special planned for them. Then we'll see who is funny.
Posted by Dawn at 8:03 AM