Cruel to be Kind

Monday, May 12, 2008

Like every mother, I L-O-V-E my kid.

I think she is sweet and funny and talented...in her own way.

This morning, she hit her father and I up with the "permission slip" for the talent show.

The one in which she planned to sing Hannah Montana songs.

She exited into the shower to sing - enthusiastically. With Gusto.

Of course, she doesn't know all the lyrics to these songs. And she kind of screeches as she sings.

Terrance and I exchange pained looks.

"You're going to have to do something - she can't go on a stage and sing....", he says to me.

"I know. It will be a disaster..."

I muster up all my mommy courage and approach her as she gets dressed.

"You know honey - maybe it isn't the best idea for you to plan to sing in the talent show this year - you haven't practiced and you don't know all the words and it is in two weeks...."

She is outraged! OUTRAGED!!!!

She rails against me. She WANTS to do it. She CAN do it. She WILL do it!

My tactics need to change. I go for the jugular.

"Baby - not everyones talents lie in singing. I know you like to sing and you have a nice voice for singing at home and in the shower...but I am not sure that you should sing on stage...."

Dear Lord. The knives that fly out of my child's eyes pierce me through the heart.

She begins the appeal to her father...and I say "He thinks the same thing!" in my defense.


Terrance cuts my rope from his ship. "What's wrong baby? No, I didn't say you weren't a very good singer....."

I glare at him. "I just don't want you to be teased by your friends, sweetie...", I stammer.

And then she turns to me, eyes full of tears and shouts:

"YOU'RE DESTROYING MY CONFIDENCE!!!!"

All this before 8:30 in the morning.

11 Baleful Regards:

dramamama said...

Would you like some help sinking Terrance's ship? ;)

Luckily, Daughter is WAY too shy to enter talent shows, so I don't have to face this conversation, but I DO feel your pain...

paul said...

Wow, such excitement so early.

It sounds like you were sold up the river by Terrance. So much for being in it together. ;-)

Woman with kids said...

Don't you love being the bad guy? And a destroyer of confidence? I mean, if you can do all that before 8:30, imagine how much else you can accomplish!

Mitzi Green said...

you're good. it usually takes me until at least noon to destroy my child's self-confidence. (at least until i have my coffee.)

jeanie said...

Oh boy - have you seen "About a Boy"?

We all cringe in this day and age of Idol wannabe's getting their dreams crushed on prime time television, and most right thinking mothers want to save their child from ever getting that treatment...

That being said, how to mould the child without crushing the spirit?

Tell me when you have the answer.

MarciaAnn said...

Ok, can you say Terrance is SHUT OUT?! He tells you you have to do something, you have to be the heavy, so you work up the courage and the tact and then he bails on you, leaving your proverbial ass swinging in the wind. Yup, my thoughts ... DENIED.

It's a hard call because you want to protect their ego and you hear they are really not ready, but do you let them sink or swim. I guess the moral of this story is let her sink and be there with a boat hook to pull her to the surface after she's flailed a bit.

Fraulein N said...

Oh dear. I don't know if there's a way out of this one. Just be there for her if it doesn't work out the way she's hoping it will, I guess.

La said...

That kid is gooood, lol

Chickenbells said...

OH...I just went to a "talent" show last week for a friend of mines little boy...they sang in a group (thank goodness.) The kids that sang solo made me cringe...a lot. There was one little girl who's chorus was "who knows? Maybe I'll be a rockstar!" and I whispered to my friends, "oh honey, I wouldn't bet on it"

BUT the interesting thing was, the performers got a TON of support from all the kids in the audience...they all raised their arms and swung them above their heads,swaying back and forth(maybe it was a more clever way to get their arms to plug their ears and muffle out the tone deaf?) AND, they all clapped wildly when each contestant was done (maybe the were coached to do so?) Each performer was cheered on at the auditorium...Of course, I don't know what the outcome was on the playground later...

Lisa said...

Oh that's harsh. (What Terrance did.)

If it makes you feel any better (and it probably doesn't) my hubby pulls crap like that too.

Mitzi Green said...

actually i have a similar problem i'm struggling with--my 6 year old's (and it's a very immature 6) boy-crush on the kids next door (who are very mature 9 and 12). he doesn't GET that they don't want to play with him and they're too damn nice to just say it. makes me feel like i'm raising a 12 year old girl. he's a good reader--should i order him a copy of "he's just not that into you?"

 
◄Design by Pocket