October 5th

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I slept in until 11:30 a.m. today. I also did this on Monday.

Terrance woke me this morning with:

"Are you OK? I know one of the first signs of depression is not wanting to get out of bed."

This made me smile at him. The man who had no idea that I was depressed when I was at my lowest, hiding under desks and generally acting psychotic, has now attuned himself with my sleeping and eating patterns. He can now verbalize a concern.

"No", I tell him, "just recovering my sleep debt from the last couple of weeks. I wasn't really asleep, just listening to you talk to your clients."

This is an activity that gives me odd pleasure. Listening to my husband do his job, with clients over the phone. Today he is on the phone with a group in the Louisiana Delta, hit hard by Katrina. His confidence and guidance radiate through his words. He is not impatient as he guides them through the mazes of federal grants and funding, often asking them the same question over and over until he gets the answer that will fit the funding proposal. He also throws laundry in the dryer, feeds the cat, and folds clothes as he talks.

It is not a side of my husband that I ever saw prior to being at home. Our work lives were so completely separate as to seem foreign to each other. I left at 7 in the morning. I returned at 6 at night. Both exhausted, we rarely talked about anything of substance before wrangling the daughter into bed and both sinking into silence.

The move to Montreal, my forced unemployment, have changed many things about my life and my marriage. I mourn my loss of financial Independence and "professional identity". However, I am spending more time with my husband - uninterrupted, child free time. Both of us simply existing in the same space, at the same time.

This is unearthing a part of my marriage that I had not known existed, or had forgotten in the turmoil of life before. It is tender and quiet.

"Do you want some coffee?I made some for you", Terrance asks as he leans down to kiss me. "Happy 10th anniversary, sweetie."

After ten years of marriage and 16 years of being together, he still surprises me.

Happy Anniversary, My Love.

24 Baleful Regards:

Fraulein N said...

A very Happy Anniversary to both of you!

E. said...

Sweet. Happy anniversary!

How wonderful that you and Terrance can enjoy some mundane daily at-home moments together. It sounds like your move and the changes in your life have been positive in all sorts of ways.

mama said...

Happy happy. :)

mamatulip said...

Yeah. That's me...blogger beta gave me the bum rush.

madge said...

Happy Anniversary!

Nothing like a quiet renaissance.

wordgirl said...

He sounds like a great guy...and one who can multi-task!! Sounds like a winner.

Becky said...

Congratulations on 10 years! When love changes and grows, and is customized to you - you know it is right.

Mitzi Green said...

that's so damn sweet.

and by the way, i'm now craving a chocolate croissant, which i don't know where to find one since that uber bakery i used to frequent shut down. thanks. thanks a lot. if you need me, i'll be huddled under my desk sobbing softly and repeating "chocolaty flaky goodness" over and over again.

kim said...

Happy Anniversary! Ours was Monday.

roo said...

Happy Anniversary, Dawn!

I'd written you a long comment about how I identified with this post, but cyberspace ate it.

Honestly, I'd rather tell you in person.

Her Bad Mother said...

Happy Anniversary, lady!

(I so wish that I had some 'us' time with my husband. So wish it. Enjoy it.)

Mignon said...

That's wonderful and inspiring, Dawn. Happy day and congratulations to you both.

(At first I wrote goth. That's funny right? Am I going crazy? Congratulations to you goth...)

Izzy said...

Awww...I love hearing people say nice things about their spouses. It sounds like you are re-discovering the man you married, which is so romantic.

Happy 10th to you and your huz!

Mom101 said...

This is beautiful. I think the understanding and insight he shows is testament to 10 awesome years. Lord knows most men don't get that far in twice the time.

Happy happy to both of you. j

TB said...

Sleeping in til 11:30 and having coffee ready when you get up sounds like the best kind of anniversary present.
Cheers, and here's to many more.

Jess Riley said...

The quiet and tender parts of married life are my favorite. Congratulations on your anniversary! Happy Happy, and I'll add a "Joy Joy," too!

mothergoosemouse said...

Happy anniversary. You've come a long way baby.

(Terrance's question made me smile too, as did your description of him on the phone. Likewise, I feel very proud of Kyle when he tells me about how he has bettered the situations of his clients.)

lildb said...

this made my heart thump, this post.

it was a really good thump.

and congratulations on your milestone, sweet lady.

Sugarmama said...

When marriage is good, it's very, very good, is it not? Nothing like a sweet man.

the other mrs b said...

Ah, the big ONE OOH. Congrats. I saw it posted on my calendar (happy b day to T as well). Every once in a while they remind us why we married them in the first place - like when I came home yesterday to find M had cleaned the entire downstairs AND the garage, then arranged for child care and took me out to dinner. Must be in the air. Any way to bottle it and pull it out at desperate times?

Hugs to all of you - Miss you tons. XXOO

Nancy said...

Oh, I missed this when you first posted it! Happy Belated Anniversary! J and I got married exactly one week after you did (we celebrate our 10th on October 12).

I love this line: "This is unearthing a part of my marriage that I had not known existed, or had forgotten in the turmoil of life before. It is tender and quiet." What a beautiful sentiment.

sweatpantsmom said...

For me, waking up at 11:30 means that some idiot has the nerve to call me before noon.

Happy Anniversary!

halloweenlover said...

I love this post. It sounds like you are undergoing some wonderful changes. Happy anniversary to the two of you! To many many more.

Lisa said...

Congrats to you and Terrance. (And I like listening to my hubby's conference calls too. Its a side I rarely get to see.)

Happy Anniversary.

 
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