Chi Overflowing

Sunday, July 16, 2006

I went seeking a new acupunturist last week.

Perhaps we all don't understand the significance of this statement.

Dawn, the woman who went for three years without a haircut when my stylist left. Dawn, the woman who has her therapist agreeing to treat her over the phone from Canada since I don't want to bond to a new one. I don't take to the "change" so well. I am, what I would call in Early Childhood Lingo - "slow to warm".

But I needed this. I can feel the chi backing up in my body. I can feel the malaise lingering over my head. For the first time in my life, I have nothing to do and it is beginning to make me a little crazy. (All right - keep your "But you're already crazy, Dawn" comments to a dull roar.)

Here is the kicker. I have time now. Lots of time. Sadly, I don't have an income to match the time. This presents a conundrum. When I wander in those lovely marches and shops along Rue Saint Laurent, I want to BUY things. I want to spend as freely as I did when I was bringing in a healthy salary. And the shoes, the shoes...they call out for me.

I know, a whole host of you are playing me the violins right now. Poor Dawn. Living on one income.... Remember, I have ALWAYS worked. Always. I have ALWAYS kept my own checking account. I have never had to clear my purchases with Terrance, or anyone else for that matter. It feels weird to think about money. I thought about finding a part time job for right now, but I am legally barred from being employed. It says so on my immigration documents.

So, I figured with what little money I have left in my checking account, I am spending it on me. I decided to find an acupunturist and just go. Maybe every two weeks instead of every week...or even once a month. All I know is that I am starting to feel low grade bad...and when I feel bad, shit starts going downhill.

There is a local acupunturist in the section of town that I live in. Her office is near the bakery. I figured that this was Karma encouraging me to keep this up.

Last week, I walked into her office.

Now, understand that this is a Chinese born and educated acupunturist/Chinese herbalist. Her office does not look like my former acupunturist in New Hampshire. She has a very straight forward office. No fountains. No flowers. But the smell? The same. I think that most acupunturists who are also herbalists - their offices smell a certain way. Like all the herbs combining into one earthy smell. I began to relax as I climbed the steps toward the smell.

She was on the phone and I waved at her. She motioned for me to wait a moment. After she finished her call, she welcomed me in. She asked if I spoke French. No. Did she speak English? No.

That did not stop me in the least. I gestured and spoke slowly, she took my pulse and in very halting english/french we communicated what I was asking. I decided that I wanted this kind woman to treat me. She looked me straight in the eyes and watched me and then took my pulse. "You tired?", she asked. Yes. I am tired. "You cry sometimes?" Yes. I do. My liver, I pointed. Chi overflowing. She nodded. I opened my mouth and pointed to my tongue. She nodded and smiled at me.

My appointment is Tuesday at 10:30. I am deeply looking forward to it.

Terrance's first question was "How much will it cost?"

"I don't know, but I need it and it's worth it."

And that was the end of that discussion.

18 Baleful Regards:

Mignon said...

Too bad acupuncture doesn't work over the phone, because she sounds excellent. I got something overflowing too, and I don't know if it's chi or not. How do you tell?

Beth said...

What is chi? What exactly doesthis do for you? I have fibromyalgia and wonder if thatwould help with my pain. What do you think? I also suffer from depression, but then, who doesn't nowa days, right?

mamatulip said...

No violin playing here, Dawn. I know exactly how you feel. I haven't held a job since December, 2001 and I'm still not used to not having my own money to spend -- money that I earned and worked for. It's one of the most difficult adjustments I've had to make being a SAHM.

Damn right it's worth it -- that's how I look at appointments with my therapist. I need it. It's not a want, it's a NEED.

(And so is getting my monthly pedicure.)

Lisa said...

Good for you. You need it, ya need it.

And this has been the most difficult part of staying home. I don't feel right about spending money on myself sometimes.

The only time I get new shoes or clothes is when I get pissed at my hubby. THEN I don't feel so bad about spending. heehee

Elizabeth said...

I'm glad to hear you found someone you feel comfortable with. As for the money thing, it will take some getting used to, but there has to be room in the budget to take care of yourself.

Mommy off the Record said...

Aw, what a sweet man you have. Can't wait to hear how you like it. I don't know anyone who's been to one, but I would love to try it someday.

Mom101 said...

I'm so glad you're doing this. Like you, I'm slow to warm. When I lived in Providence, I drove to New York City every six weeks to get my hair cut. But then, it was providence. I don't like my hair "big."

One of my dearest friends is a big muckety-muck acupuncturist if you want any advice or references.

Wishing you perfectly alligned xi.

wordgirl said...

Even though it's been a long time, I remember precicely what it felt like NOT to work after the first baby was born. No matter how much work I did with the kid and the house, it was never enough that I didn't feel the pang of not contributing financially. When I started getting paid to write...sigh...I felt a huge load slide off of my shoulders.

Still...since I haven't written for money in a while, I'm wondering what a backed-up chi feels like. Maybe that's what's wrong with me.

TB said...

Again, you and I are in the same place. Until I find a job here, I feel like I have to talk to Jeff about every purchase. He's not asking me to, I just don't feel like it's my money to spend on my own since I don't have a paycheck. Hate.
I hope you get your Chi out. I need to do the same.

Jenny said...

Ok, I've never heard of this overflowing chi thing but I so think I have it.

Gurukarm Kaur said...

Hooray for a man who knows when to keep his mouth shut! ;-)

"And that was the end of that discussion."

Her Bad Mother said...

I SOOOO hear you. I have always had my own money. Now, not so much. Makes me crazy. Pushes my self-sufficiency-issues button.

And about the acupuncture? Always worth it. It's healthcare. Doesn't count as an expenditure.

Izzy said...

Glad you found some one you like. And it IS worth it. You can't put a price on feeling good.

Nancy said...

Sounds like acupuncture for you is as necessary as air, water, and food. You need it, so you will do it. I am glad. :-)

(me talk like Dick and Jane book tonight. Single syllables.)

kim said...

The trouble with staying at home with older children, boredom -hence the shopping-hence the wanting.

Judging from the comments a lot of us don't understand the whole chi thing, but are very curious. I know I could google and probably will, but I think we'd all love to hear it from you.

halloweenlover said...

Ooooh, I'm very jealous. I've been so tempted to try acupuncture, but I admit that I'm terrified of needles! At the height of the morning sickness, though, I was about to try anything to make it stop. I need to just buck up and do it.

Bobita said...

This week has been about balancing the Chi for me, too!! In fact, it has been a kind of mantra...balance, balance, balance.

Best of luck with your Chi!

desertbitch said...

i gotta say, i have heard from a lot of friends about acupuncture,and this is the first time i felt drawn to it.
You have a very clear and clean writing style. I , like so many other commentors, am thinking I may have to try this.

 
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