Big Vlad on Campus

Saturday, September 02, 2006

AH-HA!

You did not expect to see me here. The display of raw meat drew me as a moth to the flame. It was as if the Woman was calling to me. "Come, Vlad", she said, "Feast and then take me as your next conquest! Let me give you another son!"

I, Vlad, have been very busy watching the woman in the past several weeks. I take care that she does not see me as I shadow her on the train...and up the hill to her building. I also impale the pitiful 18 year olds who attempt to make small talk with me, or the formerly alive worm who yelled at Vlad with a devil sent voice box that Vlad should do something called "Pledge". They were the last words that the ex-peon screeched before I ripped his tongue out and replaced it with his now unattached genitals.

The sacrifice's friends recognized the force that is Vlad the Impaler and wisely took flight. So I slashed their achilles tendons and laughed at their screams of agony. There is nothing that Vlad enjoys more than an early semester slaughter! I arranged their bodies carefully to please the woman, but she walked down the hill on a different path, so my gift was unseen.

Vlad is very happy in this place. There are many virgins to be defiled and peasants to slaughter. Did Vlad mention the shops where women are clad in garments of black leather? The manly shaft of Vlads nether region lifted at the sight of such beauty.
If the woman does not consent to give me a son, I shall surely find a worthy wench here. Plus, as I will have to kill her once she delivers my seed, Vlad will be sad to have to end things with the Woman in this manner.

I would rather impale the woman with my flaming sword, heh, heh, heh. The man should watch his back.



New here? Wonder what the hell is going on? Look here...

10 Baleful Regards:

Jaelithe said...

Woah, Vlad, I didn't know the brisk Canadian air made Transylvanians so horny.

Suebob said...

I think I have missed the Vlad boat. It is too late for me.

Nancy said...

Vlad, somehow you are turning me on. That talk of raw meat, must be... let me know if you're going to be in the DC area anytime soon. I'll leave a bowl of maggots out for you.

Lori said...

Hmmmmm.........Sarsage and now Vlad? Is Vlad wanting to play hide the sausage?

Elizabeth said...

Vlad needs to channel all that pent-up frustration. Maybe he should take up Rugby.

Andrea said...

Vlad rules.

Anonymous said...

Oh Mightyl Vlad, Do you remember when once we met? I shall never forget it, however the boy spawn you left me with is starting to show his roots and emulate you. Please help!!!

Jenny said...

Why am I suddenly finding Vlad so incredibly hot?

Mignon said...

Don't let 'em fool you, Vlad. There ain't no virgins up in there.

Her Bad Mother said...

Horny Vlad!

Defile the quebecoises pur laines!

 
◄Design by Pocket