I think my depression is creeping back up. I have a new appointment with a NEW therapist next week. I cried through the intake session with the therapist who makes sure that you are crazy enough to accept. I passed. But, the numb feeling is returning. That not quite inside your body feeling, but there enough to be irritated with everything. AND my sleeping has been off, so that doesn't help my mood.
I decided to add the Wellbutrin back into the mix. I also told the people at the therapists office that I was taking an extra Prozac everyday to stave off the encroaching depression. And now trying with the Wellbutrin to stabilize this before it jumps off into something bigger.
So All I got for you is pictures from the Botanical.










13 Baleful Regards:
I don't like this self-medicating business. Can I say that? More like a concerned cousin than a snooty blog reader.Be well Dawn...
i've self-medicated off and on for years, so I get it, but it does worry me. I'm less worried, though, knowing that you told the therapist what you're about with the meds, so there's that.
anyway, for what it's worth, your photography skill are sick. sicker than you, man. I can't believe the butterfly photo. it's perfect. it looks staged. did you pose in a butterfly costume for that photo, Dawn? *taps foot, hands on hips*
I've been feeling similarly depressed lately, too, and I think it's because my hypothyroidism has intensified, so my meds are no longer adequate... either that or all the raging I did in San Francisco a few weeks ago, combined with forgetting to actually *take* the levathroid for a day (two? I was awful drunk, and, um, stuff, to recall prescribed meds), so who the frick knows. maybe I'm just crazy.
yeah. that's probably it.
I don't know about you, but I'm starting to realize that early fall is always hard on me, mental-health-wise.
I hope you feel better soon, and that you find a good counselor to help you out.
I know the depression tends to creep up for me when I get stressed out with all the crap I have to do- you know, feed, shower, dress myself and the kids, go to work/school/brownie meetings/pta meetings/back-to-school-nite/whatever else they can come up with the make my head explode. You seem like you've got a shitload of stuff going on and much of it being new and stressful(your takes of time spent on public transportation alone made me want to crawl under the covers)... is there anything you can outsource to lighten your load?
I know that numb but irritated and not sleeping business well. That's depression? Wow. I had no idea.
Your photos are GEORGOUS! LOve them.
Oh and when I ask "That's depression?" It doesn't mean I'm making light of your situation or second guessing you. Its just I've lived a considerable amount of time feeling that way. And now I'm realizing that maybe I don't HAVE to feel that way... It can be helped.
Hope you feel happiness soon.
It is the small stuff, the million little details that gets you. I will be thinking of you.
I hope this new therapist is not a complete moron like the last one.
*HUGS*
And the flowers in the last photo? Beautiful, I don't think I've ever seen any like that around here...but then again it's a miracle I even know what grass looks like in this dump.
;)
Dear Dawn:
I keep trying to access this, maybe trying a new carrier will work today.. The pictures are awesome, you are getting very good with the lense. RFH would be jealous...Hope this school day is a good one..
Love, MOM
Fall is a great time for me. The way you feel sounds like the way I feel in Spring. I agree with Mom-101. Not to dogpile on you...or anything, sweetie...but please be careful about the self-medication. What DOES make you feel better? Find it and do it. There's gotta be something that unlocks those endorphins. I wish you a speedy way to find out what it is. I'm sending a hug your way.
Please call me if you need anything. We're only far away geographically you know.
I wonder if it is this time of year- I'm teetering on the edge myself. I hate this feeling- and knowing it's a chemical reaction doesn't make it any less miserable.
I feel like crap myself, so I'm right there with you. But the butterfly picture is beautiful.
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