Ways to NOT be my new therapist

Thursday, September 07, 2006

10. If my appointment is at 1:45 p.m., make me wait until 2:10 to be seen. I love to wait in waiting rooms. LOVE IT!

9. Don't apologize for making we wait when I do get into the room.

8. Fiddle around with a bunch of papers.

7. Call me by the wrong name.

6. Try to flatter me by saying "You can't possibly be 36! You look so young!".

5. Interrupt me to tell me about your vacation to Maine.

4. Suggest that I should come back for a more "thorough" history.

3. Say the words "Wow! You've achieved alot for someone with your history."

2. Cluck and shake your head when I describe the history of mental illness and addiction in family. Say "That's a shame!"

and the number one way to insure that I will never come back to see you, but instead immediately seek a Different therapist...

1. Suggest that I might be bi-polar after speaking with me for 10 minutes, in my annoyed state.

32 Baleful Regards:

Anonymous said...

That's just all too familiar to me. The last straw was when she suggested I get my tubes tied after my 1st child..... I'm only 23

tami said...

omg. that is terrible. please find someone else who will actually LISTEN to you. good luck!

Mitzi Green said...

um, yeah...run like hell.

i've waited for AN HOUR at my son's psychiatrist's office. they overbook and then act like you're putting them out by being there. but they never hesitate to accept that co-pay. no, sir. and it took me 6 months to convince them to get off the ADHD kick and prescribe my kid something for his painfully obvious anxiety. the thought i might know my own kid better than someone with a Ph.D. who has spent all of an hour with him in 6 months...absurd! and what do you know, a few weeks on the anti-anxiety meds and he's a totally different kid. whodathunkit. the only reason i haven't run from that office is because we hadn't met our deductible yet and i couldn't afford to shell out $200+ for a consult with a new one.

yeah. don't walk. RUN.

jen said...

I wish I coudl type the sound I made when I read #1. like a stifled laugh in the back ofmy throat.

Y from Joyunexpected had the EXACT same therapist (after asking her 10 innocuous questions, determined she was bi-polar. she was all, "yeah I have mood swings, it's called 'I have THREE KIDS.'"

Yeah, let me know when you find a new one.

(oh, I have gotten #3 too...should I be worried? I mean, am I a ticking bomb waiting to blow?)

kim said...

The last therapist I went to said to me after 45 minutes "Oh, I've been doing all the talking, you talk some" and I'm not exactly the quitet type.

Jaelithe said...

I can actually beat this-- once, when I was a teenager. I had a court-appointed therapist examine my mental state in connection with the never-ending custody dispute between my parents.

During our 45 min appointment, I expressed frustrations over continuing problems with my fractured family, anger at my neglectful and emotionally abusive pathological liar of a father, worries about the possibility of losing my scholarship to private high school as my grades slipped due to overwhelming family responsibilites and strife, and concerns over my ability to pay my own way through college once I managed to graduate from HS.

The middle-aged male therapist told me, completely seriously, that the best way to escape my screwed-up family situation would be to marry a rich man. "There are lots of rich boys at your high school," he said. "Pick one."

How do these people get licensed? Seriously? HOW?

oshee said...

These experiences frustrate me too. I've been through my share of mental health professionals. I feel very lucky to have found the ones I visit now.

I hope you have better luck next time.

Fraulein N said...

Oh jeez. I want to say maybe it wasn't a good fit, but your therapist just sounds like a dummy. Good luck with the next one!

Mignon said...

The sad thing is this is such a familiar story. Maybe you should get a French-speaking one, they'd surely not interrupt. Just nod and say Wee Wee, looking all sage and stuff.

giddybug said...

...You sure know how to leave me even more terrified at the prospect of having to find a new therapist after my cross-continental move. Yikes.

E. said...

Well, at least you don't have to agonize over whether this one's a good fit... Hope your next try is much, much better.

MrsFortune said...

Wow. There certainly are some crappy ass therapists out there. But kudos to you for even looking. I loved my last one so much I haven't even looked into finding a new one in the 1.5 years since we've moved (much to my husband's chagrin.)

mamatulip said...

Holy christ. Run, don't walk, out of that building.

Dinosaur Mom said...

My therapist was fine with me for 13 years, but I had vowed never to see her again after she tried to sell me %^$#@! Herbalife weight loss products in her office at our most recent appointment. Now I may reconsider.

wordgirl said...

Tell me you're just yanking my chain. Tell me you've just made up this story and there isn't a licensed counselor like this dispensing advice and meds according to her own feeble observations. Crap!

angelfeet said...

You should bill that therapist for your time, including the 25 minute late start.

Suebob said...

"You've achieved a lot for someone with your history." Translation: Boy, for someone so fucked up, you're doing ok!

Nice.

Mrs. Davis said...

What a nightmare. As they say about doctors (and I guess the same would hold true for therapists), even the one who graduates last in their class in medical school is still a doctor. Evidently this woman was bringing up the rear. Or she got her degree from Sally Struthers.

sweatpantsmom said...

Sounds like getting your therapists' license at Wal-Mart isn't a good idea afterall.

Anonymous said...

Oh, you met my last therapist! I think I need more therapy from what he said to me. Yes, I wondered the same thing, how a supposed dr. (yes, I meant to keep his title uncapitalized) thinks the way he does.

Andrea said...

I kind of wonder if there's not some class these whackjob therapists have taken to learn the worst possible thing they could say to a new client.

Hopefully you find someone like your last therapist, an advocate as well as a friend. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

When I was in college and severely depressed, the psychiatrist wouldn't give me antidepressants unless I agreed to see the counselor.

She was a piece of work. She interrupted our sessions to take calls from her daughter in Hawaii, and then told me all about her daughter's marvelous life, and once, quite seriously, asked me, "Why HAVEN'T you killed yourself yet?"

Dear God. Thank goodness the drugs worked and I was able to convince her I didn't need any more sessions.

halloweenlover said...

And then you killed her?

Bobita said...

No?! Maybe you can stop by her office tomorrow and tell her, "based upon my observations of you and the way in which you interacted with me I have determined that you are have Borderline Personality Disorder and as such, have provided a list of several local therapists who specialize in this condition. My suggestion to you is that you seek help immediately. That will be $175, cash only."

At which point you might consider bustin' her knee caps!

V said...

Wow. Well, at least you didn't waste a buttload of your life figuring out that she sucked. At least you got the picture in a few short seconds of your life.

TB said...

Oh no she fucking didn't! How the hell do hacks like this get licensed at all?

Lisa said...

Grrrrr. That is pissing ME off. I bet you were ready to open a can of whoop ass on her!

SuzanH said...

Holy crap.

I've had several therapists, and I've been damn lucky. The only complaints I've had was that my first one was very quiet and that another was the template for the counselor on South Park. Mmmkay?

Good luck finding another one!

krista said...

asshole.

roo said...

I love how she gets people to pay her to tell them about her vacation (which her other unfortunate patients also paid for.)

I think you've done really well for someone who had to spend an hour of her life with such a quack-- you didn't punch her in the head or anything.

Plunky said...

Oh my god. WTF? Bipolor after 10 mins??? Jesus Christmas. I would smack her.

mothergoosemouse said...

Thank you - more people need to feel as if they can legitimately dump their therapist, even after only one meeting. If it's not right - it's not right. And this beyotch is definitely NOT RIGHT.

 
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