I am Woman of the Blogosphere, Hear Me Roar, Bitches!*

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

*Now with bonus Produce Porn!!



I promise ...lots of funny Dawn bloggity goodness is bubbling beneath the surface. I can feel it.



Yes, I am drinking wine. In a restaurant. Outside. Last night. See how I sacrifice for you all?




Emily is home. Dear Lord. The Loudness - THE LOUDNESS!!!! It's like living with a carnival barker and Vegas neon sign. And the touching, the non-authorized touching of my body! I woke up with her lying across my body - she had lifted my shirt and was laying stomach to stomach with me. Talking at me. About the cat. While pressing on my bladder.



Oh, and the poor cat. Who remains nameless. I think the cat is really re-considering her feral lifestyle after being pursued by Emily for the last two days. Hunger and the elements are beginning to look appealing to being carried around by the hyper 8 year old. At least, I kind of find them appealing as an alternative to the incessant noise. Perhaps I'll dress the cat in my clothes and make my break for it.




See the button on the sidebar? Oh yeah, baby. I am a Semi-Finalist for Woman of the Blogosphere. For all three freaking blogs.



Which makes me what to run into my 20th high school reunion (in two years) and start poking some women in their noses. HAHAHA. Cause I'm funny, bitches. And Smart! So take that, all you miserable wenches who made my life a living hell! I am a god damn Woman of the Blogosphere! Times 3!

Writing well really is the best revenge. Wise words, Ms Kennedy, Wise words.

16 Baleful Regards:

wordgirl said...

Good Gawdamighty, Dawn. I feel like a freakin' senior citizen next to you. But the sentiments you express are similar to my own and when I go to my 30th(!!!) next summer, I will likewise feel the full force of my "late bloomer self" because I don't have an ass so big that it could be mistaken for another planet and maybe I will be one of the few women in my class who don't look like someone's grandmother. I SO think we would have been good friends in high school

E. said...

Congrats on being Of the Blogosphere, Woman!

I've got to say, when I read your descriptions of Emily's "unauthorized touching," I think "I hope my kid's that way when we he's her age." But then, I'm all touchy.

mamatulip said...

Wow. Only you can work three blogs this hard. You GO.

Mommygoth said...

Your produce porn makes me hungry. While I'm eating.

Diana said...

YAY! you should poke them on the forehead...hard. And then cackle!

mothergoosemouse said...

You are so funny. Carnival barker, neon sign, dressing the cat up in your clothes and making a break for it - I may pee my pants.

And congrats on your semi-finalist status. You are already the winner as far as I'm concerned.

lindsayc said...

just awesome!

TB said...

Aubergines! And purple cauliflower? Who knew!

Congrats on your THREE nominations, well deserved all.

And good luck to the cat.

Fraulein N said...

Man, when you make a comeback you do it with style. Congratulations, you deserve to win!

Mom101 said...

congrats x 3! Whoooooo for dawn. also, for produce.

Sugarmama said...

Aw, yay! Even drunk and alone and tired tonight I grinned when I read that you were back here! I've been wondering where you were. Really.

Jess Riley said...

That is the hottest, porniest, most tantalizing produce EVAH.

Congrats on the bloggity honors. This only proves what we've known all along. You do indeed rock.

kim said...

Woman, do you ever sleep? Congrats!

Plunky said...

I say why poke them in their noses when you can throw pretty produce at their heads.

Mommy off the Record said...

Love the food poor, love the shirt, love YOU! Congrats on your nominations, lady!

Mommy off the Record said...

oops, that should have been food PORN.

 
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