Flotsam

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Ever been thrown onto something so foreign that you had a hard time figuring out whether you were up or down?

I mean - aside from parenting?

I took a new job last week. A job not in my field. A job that I need, because I have got to get some income flowing into my bank (or banque) account. A job writing about Genomes. And how they can be used to create personalized medicine.

Has that sunk in?

Me either.

I am drowning in this place. A world of acronyms and things that I do not understand and am not sure I want to understand. I read reports, I read articles, I read charts and still, I feel confused. People ask me questions about what I want or what I need and all I can do is stare at them, mustering my best "pretend you know what they are talking about face". My saving grace? Five years in government allows me to bullshit well enough to get by until I can get some kind of bearings in the terminology.

I was asked today - "Do you have enough to work on?" Um. Yeah. In fact, I can feel my brain shutting down, a defensive mechanism for when I am overloaded with information.

It is hard for me to sort out if it is the job itself - or if it is the return to a regular job schedule, from which I have been on hiatus since June 2006. I came to enjoy my meandering, extremely broke, existence. However, I have liked getting up and coming to work - my sleep schedule seems to have snapped right back to regular hours, and it is nice to talk with the people in this office.

(Dawn whispering to self - "Interactions with humans is good, interactions with humans is good!")

Plus, since no one was beating down my door to employ me as a free lance observer of life, the money will come in handy as Em goes back to school and we get walloped with the associated fees.

Sigh. It is time for me to go back. I will catch up with you all soon.

11 Baleful Regards:

Nancy said...

I hear you. I've been struggling with work lately too -- and I'm not sure if it's the foreignness or the concept of work and the whole drudgery of it getting on my nerves.

Hang in there, my friend.

Lisa said...

WIshing you lots of luck in getting a handle on the gnome project. (Ok. I know its ge-nome. just trying to funny but failing miserably)

SUEB0B said...

I felt the same way when I went to work writing about chronic diseases. Now I can toss around terminology with the best of them...it will all sink in. It might take months, but don't worry. You are so obviously bright that they can't help but love you. Right? Right!

Feral Mom said...

I'm with Lisa. I like the Gnome Project better. Let's do it! What acronyms can we come up with for THAT project? How 'bout GNOME=Giant Nuts on Midget Entities? Oh yeah! Who's with me?

jen said...

you got in the door, that means a hell of a lot. you know more than you think, woman.
you will rock this. genomes, schmenomes.

Bubblewench said...

You'll make it. Eventually. I know how hard it can be in a new job. Took me 6 months to figure out the one I have now.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

jen from boston said...

kept reading this as you took a job writing about gnomes.

And we all know THAT you can definitely do. Well even.

Mitzi Green said...

yes. when i started working here, i had no clue about work comp law. i'd done some personal injury work, but from a defense perspective, not from a plaintiff's perspective. i don't think i really started to know what i was doing until about 6 months ago. don't feel bad.

Michele said...

I started my current job three months post-partum and I took it only because we were desperate for money after I got laid off when I was on bedrest. I didnt even know what I was accepting when I took it. The first month they may as well have been speaking Chinese to me.
It got better, eventually. Lots of bs-ing until it did though.

TB said...

Dude. I give you mad cred because I seriously don't even know what a genome is, much less how they create personalized medicine.

Now a gnome on the other hand, I could write about them all the live long day.

Hang in there chica.

Heather said...

You have captured my current condition so perfectly. I empathize :)

 
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