Promiscious Luggage

Friday, August 03, 2007

My luggage has arrived.

Well, not really - I had to drive to the airport in Montreal and pick it up, since they couldn't deliver it because it had no customs paper declaring it to be safe to enter Quebec.

And those "Bliss" travel bottles I swiped from the W? Could be used to start some kind of in country revolution.

I am not really sure where my bag has been. We parted in Chicago at 4:45 a.m.on Sunday.

I know exactly what I had in my bag. I mean, after all - I did not let anyone else pack my bag. I KNOW THE RULES FCC!!!

So to open your bag and find this? Something you know for SURE you did not pack?



And to furthermore find it inside your open shoe box?

If one of my shoes becomes an unwed mother, you and I are going to have big problems, United Airlines. Not to mention the STD tests I am going t have to take them to the clinic to get.

Jesus. You let you luggage out of your sight for five days, and it goes whorin' it up through god knows where with satchels and clutches. I am sure some of those damn backpacks and duffel's were involved - those scraggly "back pack through Europe" types?

Such smooth talkers....

11 Baleful Regards:

wordgirl said...

You teach them right from wrong. You try to be an example for them and they you turn your back one minute and your shoes have run off to screw God only knows what in the airport of all places. These shoes today!

Nancy said...

Wait -- was that the Rocket Dog shoe box or the box for your red f*ck-me pumps?

Dawn said...

Ahhhhhh, Nancy - here is the true mystery.

The red pumps seemed unmolested.

These were with the Rocket Dogs....

jen frm boston said...

only because I heard a story about cheese being hidden in someone's bag that weekend ...
I am suspicious of your roommates.

(not to point fingers! except that I guess I just did..nance, Izzy?)

But seriously, if you were my roomie, and I had an creativity, I'd totally do something like that.

Were the condoms "swag" from BlogHer?

Jules said...

BlogHer? I just met her! Heh heh. Just kidding.

I had to delurk when I read this post about your lost luggage. Mine got lost once when I flew somewhere for 1 overnight stay (for a work conference) and I didn't see it again until 3 days after I got back home. All my underwear had been "stolen" (I put that in quotes because I can't believe someone would actually steal someone else's underwear) but the jewelry I forgot to put in my carry-on when I packed for the trip? Still there, safe & sound.

I read all 3 of your blogs Dawn... and pass them along to all my friends-- esp. TWC.

bigpikchur.blogspot.com

Lindsey said...

At least your shoes made an attempt at being responsible - even if they did go whoring around - at least condoms were present right?

my Mother gave me that speech when she found a condom in my jeans - i believe it was "I knew this day would come, and I am glad that you are being safe about it, even if you are going to Hell."

Nancy said...

I swear on Bret Michaels and his super slutty posse that it was not me. And hey, Jen, not to throw down in your direction, but you were certainly in the room a few times yourself...

I do notice that these aren't just the typical LifeStyles, but the Endurance kind. Your shoes are set for super long lovin'.

Mom101 said...

It could be worse. It could have been that camembert.

Bubblewench said...

could have been USED condoms in your suitcase...

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I heard that your shoes were kind of slutty, but now we have proof.

At least they use protection.

Monie said...

LMMFAO!

 
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