Pit(s) of Despair

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I noticed something about a year and a half ago.

My deodorant stops working.

I mean - STOPS working. I sweat. I smell.

At first, I assumed it was some kind of hormonal change that came with turning 36.

Lady Speed Stick had to be put aside. It was not doing the job. I moved to Degree, which seemed to help a little more. Then IT stopped working. I went back to Lady Speed Stick, thinking the 6 month break would have renewed it's potency.

Nope.

After a few weeks of realizing that I was sweating like a 17 year old Dawn waiting for her period, I went back to the store and began READING bottles. I needed the Highest level of sweaty and/or smelliness protection legally available in Canada.

Secret (for women) seems to be doing the job at the moment. At least I don't SMELL as bad as I did before. Or maybe I do and my hermit, misanthrope ways simply prevent other people from being consumed by my funk.

I fear, however, more hormonal changes approaching with the Big M - and let's face it - I ain't smearing Teen Spirit on my pits.

So my bloggy friends - are you all finding this same "issue" as we rapidly approach our collective 40's?

Oh, and for the record - the bullshit about the cramps being better AFTER I had a baby? I think not.

26 Baleful Regards:

Nancy said...

Have you tried the Secret Clinical Strength? Good stuff.

Hormones fucking suck.

Mitzi Green said...

i second nancy's recommendation. 10 friggin bucks for a tiny little tube, but it works. It works. and my mom tried to feed me that cramps lie, too. don't believe the hype.

Dinosaur Mom said...

I'm a Degree woman, myself. But I have learned to keep an extra stick of deodorant in the desk drawer at work just in case. I would also say that there's no reason not to just buy the men's deodorant with the shower clean scent, because that will kill the funk. Might kill everyone else around you, too, but that's another problem.

The cramps suck worse after you bear kids, but they may not register as high on the pain continuum for some women once they've experienced the joys of childbirth, sciatica, or "Gah! That was my back! Ow! Bastards! Just trying to sit down in my car! Ow!" That's my personal favorite these days.

Woman with kids said...

That cramps lie they tell is BS. Also? My period has it's own schedule and Pete only knows when it'll show up. So far? Twice in three weeks.

Thanks Mother Nature; lovin' this.

SUEB0B said...

Thank goddess that is one I DON'T have. I use Secret Platinum, which I love more than an anti-perspirant has a right to be loved. I heard about it from Jonniker.

jessica said...

It could absolutely be hormones, but I have found that I am a stanky sweat factory when my nerves are bothering me. If I am under stress, if I am in a bad anxiety cycle, I smell like a 17 year old boy after a hard run. And it tales a while after my nerves return to "normal" before my body catches up.

I have found that Mitchum works best when I'm stinky.

BetteJo said...

I noticed some changes, fluctuations really, in that area starting about 5 years ago. I'm 48 so I suppose I have a few (okay more than) years on you. I just make sure that even if I don't use it anywhere else on my body - I use deodorant soap under my arms and yes - secret platinum is my drug of choice too.

So many nasty things happen as we age and I tell you what - it's really pissing me off!

jen from boston said...

my pits are lemon fresh since I am an embryo, but I heart this title. Good job, pookey muffin.

Anonymous said...

you live in Canada - go see the pharmacist and ask for Drysol.

dab it on before you go to bed - endure the itchy pits of hell and then you DO NOT SWEAT for 2 or 3 days!
put it on again before bed when you notice that your pits are a little damp that day.

you can add your favorite deo/anti-perspirant for a little scenty goodness, but it's not needed.

consider this my gift to you.

Shannon said...

I went through a phase where I had an excessive sweat problem (I know, eww!) and my doctor said Mitchum is the strongest brand. There is also some stuff called Drysol that you can buy at the pharmacy that totally helps you sweat less. I try not to think about how healthy or unhealthy that might be. That stuff is so damn strong that I usually have to wash it off before too long because my pits are sooo itchy.

Anonymous said...

My cousin and I have both noticed that when we perspire we smell just like grandma, which is a little disconcerting. Instead of my cramps getting worse I am now visited by migraines after my period, I'd rather have the cramps they didn't make me throw up. Toni

MomForThree said...

Cramps, never had them before the little urchins came along. I group that little gem of a lie up with the "breastfeeding will help you lose weight" monster lie. I'm 41 and my periods last 7-8 days and arrive every 22 days like clockwork. Really, can't I donate my uterus to a needy family since I'm really VERY done with it.

Jules said...

In the past I tried selling off my uterus to pay for car repairs (before I finally got rid of my old beast-- the car, not the uterus) to no avail. I can't say I've had the same probs but a few years ago I switched from Degree to DOVE, and it works like a charm. Also, the smoother pits thing is actually true. Jules
http://bigpikchur.blogspot.com/

c8h10n4o2 said...

I'm a heavy sweater since birth, and Mitchum is the only thing that works for me at all. I use either the unscented men's or the ladies' baby powder, and it works like a dream.

I also keep baby wipes handy for when *ahem* other areas get not so fresh. They at least keep me from feeling like I'm a potential biohazard.

kate said...

i'm about to turn 35, and i have never sweated like i sweat now. i'm glad i'm not the only one, though, i guess that's sort of mean. i haven't found anything that works. i sweat, therefore, i am.

Dinosaur Mom said...

I can't agree with y'all if you're talking about Lady Mitchum. That stuff never made it through lunch time for me.

Speaking of uterus sales, I was appalled to learn that, although I was a fertility machine before getting my tubes tied and closing the factory, I am at 36 too old to find a commercial market for my ova. Dag, who knew?

Trouble said...

OMG, I'm so glad I clicked over here to read your blog today. I thought it was just me with the abundance of sweaty stinkiness.

I feel incredibly relieved to know that it's not just me...

I swear my body temperature has also gone up by a degree or two...I am hot all the ever-loving time. It's not hot flashes, it's hot lifestyle.

Karen Rani said...

I've always used Secret since I was 13. Course, I'm still a youngin' so we'll see what happens when I become a dirty old bag. Ha ha!

Jessica said...

I know what you mean about the cramps lie. But I have figured out why they say they get better after you have a child...
It is not that the cramps get better...it is that in comparison to labor pains they are not so bad.

TB said...

I have to switch it up between several different brands because they stop working right around the time I get to the last of the stick, but usually if I give a brand a rest for a few months and go back to it, it'll work again. Well, that's how it was before I got pregnant anyway. I was massively stinky while I was pregs and now my hormones are just now normalizing, so now it's a brave new world. And honestly, I think the breastfeeding has done something weird to my body because my pits don't seem to sweat at all.

kim said...

I've gone through sweaty faces and used Drysol, but yes it makes your pits itchy.

Now I actually stink by the end of the day, WTF? It could be hormones or that it is has been 100 degrees for weeks now!!

Anonymous said...

I love this blog and I love EVERYONE who posts comments - women rock!!
Having kids wreaked (sp?) havoc on my body. sweaty, hormonal, crampy, etc. All the things no-one told me - fun, fun, fun. The only way I have managed the sweaty pits thing is to give it up most of the time and opt for a really good deoderant and let the damned things be sweaty. That way when I really need to be dry most any anti-perspirant works. sigh. I'm almost 44 - it does not get easier.

Suniverse said...

Oh, thank god you said something because I thought it was just me stinking up the world.

Frick. I hate that I smell. And I have a sensitive nose, so for a while, I couldn't quite tell if I ACTUALLY smelled that bad, or if I was being overly sensitive with the sniffer.

I used to use the Arm and Hammer brand, but now I can't find it anywhere. So I'm on Dove Sensitive Skin. It doesn't work, but I bought 3 sticks on sale, and I'm using those bastards up.

And cramps? HAHAHAHA - NEVER GOING AWAY. Yeah. They suck ass.

Fraulein N said...

I have to switch brands every so often too, and I have a way to go before I get to 40.

Anonymous said...

hello bloggers... ummm i have the same problem with deoderant. In fact i came online to research why this was happening and this came up. i definately found a few deoderants i think im gonna try out. and im only 15 so I NEED THIS TO WORK because i dont want to be known as the kid with B.O. and i hope this is just a very bad phase ill never expeience again.

Michele said...

I am using Degree these days, and it does the job. And yes, I have noticed that between giving birth and the impending arrival of my 40's, stuff has CHANGED. I am always hot, and my hair has taken on a life of its own.

 
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