The underappreciated plight of the underwear fairy, and her cousin the swimsuit fairy

Today was the first day of dance classes again. While all of her friends have signed up for "Hip-Hop" class, my husband put the kibosh on this idea. He Feels - and I quote - "I am not paying money to have some white woman teach my daughter to dance in a hip hop manner". So she gets to take ballet and tap and maybe jazz.

This is her fifth year of dance. Correct, she started when she was three. And she is decent at it and she enjoys it. For a child with her issues of motor coordination, this is a good opportunity for her brain to work to move her body in a specified manner. I enjoy the other mom's at dance class and we chat for the hour or two we sit in the studio waiting for our children to re-emerge.

Later I scored at LL Bean where they had kids bathing suits on clearance for 1.99 a piece!!!! Holy shit, that is a great deal. I stocked up with like 8 or 9 new suits. We live on a lake and she uses bathing suits like crazy - sometimes she wears 2 a day, so between washing, drying wearing and drying again, we need lots of bathing suits. My husband was staring at me, in vague disgust, as I gathered this armload of bathing suits in my arms.

"Why are you buying all these suits for next year?"

Silly man - can't he see? They are only 1.99!!! It doesn't matter since they are only 1.99 a piece! Can't he see the hunter/gatherer logic in this? I am the best mother in the world!! I have found an awesome bargain!! I have anticipated a need and provided for it. Next year, when I whip these suits out, I will be revealed for the magical fairy creature I truly am.

Apparently, I also anticipate underwear needs in this manner as well, since my husband has not bought himself underwear since we began living together in 1994. During some long ago arguement after he was criticizing my household spending, I blurted out :

"When is the last god damn time you bought yourself underwear? You Don't! I look at your underwear as I am folding it and if you need more, I throw away the bad underwear and buy you new underwear!!! Don't you even notice when I have taken care of this? Do you think there is an underwear fairy that lives in the closet??"

This is the same with toilet paper, toothpaste, laundry detergent, and all the other household items that women seem to compile lists of in a particular section of their brains - that also holds the information of where ( and what) the syrup of ipecac/activated charcoal is, if you have pedilyte in the house, and possibly how to perform an emergency tracheotomy with a common straw, if needed.

Now, it is time for me to pick up my daughter's underwear off the floor next to MY bed where she seems to have decided to drop it tonight. Then I will gather her shirt from the bathroom floor, one sandal from the living room, trip over the other in the door to her room, and look around for where she has thrown her skort.

No wonder my mother finally just started throwing away things that were not put away.