"Paging Jenny Tall, Paging Jenny Tall"

Thursday, January 19, 2006

When I arrived home last night, my daughter greeted me at the door. She had a set of complimentary “Weird and Wonderful” animal cards in her hands and was waving them madly in my direction.

Em: “Read these to me Mommy! READ THESE!”

Me:”Can I set my stuff down and go pee? I promise I will read them afterward.”

Em: (following me to the door of the bathroom) “You’re gonna read these to me when you’re done, right Mommy?”

Me: (in bathroom) “Yes! Let me pee in peace!”

Peeing sounds, then flushing and hand washing. I open the door. There she is.

Em: “Now, Mommy – are you gonna read them?”

Me: “yes, Let me take off my work clothes and get into my jammies and THEN I will read them to you.”

She stands and watches me undress, and put on pajamas. Apparently I am a flight risk and must be watched at all times.

I go to the couch, sit and take the complimentary cards in hand. I first read about the T-Rex, the Triceratops, and the Saber tooth tiger. I read Latin names badly.

Me: “This one is “Biggus Toothus”, and here is his friend “Smellus Funkius”

Em: “We’re animals, you know.”

Me: “Yeah, I do. “

Em: “We used to have tails, but now we only have butts!” ( she lifts her nightgown and pats her bum emphatically.)

Me: “Too true, too true my “Loudus Childus””

Em: (Rolls over, opens her legs and pats her underwear front) “What’s this?”

Me: ( sensing a set up) “What do you mean?”

Em: “Well if we used to have a tail and now we have a bum, what did this used to be?”

Me: “Well, Those are your genitals”

Em: “Jenny Talls?”

Me: “No, your Gen-I-tals – you know, where your labia is”

Em: “But what are they USED for?”

Mind racing. Explanations spinning, not ready for this……..

Me: “Well, having babies, and peeing…you know”

Em: “Oh, OK - you can read more.”

I dodge another bullet.

14 Baleful Regards:

Anonymous said...

PHEW! Safe until another day...

V said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Nice save. But very scary. These stories scare me to no end since our girlies are so close in age. I'm hoping you'll come up with something good for me before mine strikes! Ok? Pretty please?

Mama D said...

That was cute. I sometimes can't wait for my daughter to start talking. This makes me think, maybe I can wait after all.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who calls her daughter's Jenny Talls her Front Bottom. This just seems wrong and misinformitive to me, but who knows what will happen when I have a child of my own. I called it my Parts when I was Emily's age and come to think of it, my husband and I stil have a cutesy name for the vagina.

Bridgermama said...

Oh my god! This actually makes me miss teaching. I have a 6 month old little guy and chose to stay home. I used to teach pre-k and kindergarten, it was the goofy little sayings and questions that made my day. I miss the stories and wide-eyed wonderment these wee ones possess, can't wait for my dude to grow up (just a tiny bit ;)).

Cindylou said...

Owen actually GETS the weird and wild cards..but as to the Jenny Tal, Owen is very sad that I don't have a penis to pull on, and what good is a "gina " anyway?

mamatulip said...

LMAO. Nice save!

Lisa said...

That was too funny. Oy. I'm so not ready for that whole talk.

Anonymous said...

That story was adorable.

Cutus kidus.

Anonymous said...

ROFL at Beth's follow-up comment! :-)

I'm actually thinking "Jenny Talls" might be a good way to reference the girls' parts. I can't do the realistic naming thing. Just can't.

Sugarmama said...

Nice! I remember a similar conversation when my older daughter was a mere 4 years old, but she didn't let me dodge it. I had to spill everything. Oddly, she hasn't brought it up since, and she's 7-1/2 now. Either I explained it so clearly she got it completely, or it was so weird and icky she never wanted to hear it again. I don't want to ask her which it is either!

sweatpantsmom said...

And did you tell her labia was a country in Africa?

halloweenlover said...

Wait- kids ask questions like that?

I'm a little traumatized.

She is very cute, though.

Table4Five said...

I was changing K's diaper at a friend's house and Nathan loudly informed the room that she doesn't have a "Weiner". I said, that's right, she doesn't, but I couldn't bring myself to say vagina. Why is that such a hard word to say? I don't have any problem saying penis.

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