Topsy Turvey

Friday, January 13, 2006

Being the "work in the office parent" there are certain moments when I realize that my daughter's concept of male and female roles must be all whacked out of hell - or, from a feminist perspective, completely right.

I get up, leave at 7:30 a.m., listen to my music or NPR on the drive in, spend 8 hours at my office, then commute home. I do not get child ready for school ( other than ushering her into the shower and laying out the chosen outfit for the day). I do not see the child come off the bus, or even make the child do her homework. I do not provide snacks, or dinner. I go to work, and I come home.

Truth be told, I get to be the Daddy. I get to appear at the end of the day, relaxed on my drive home, and ready to interact with my daughter. Dinner is prepared, she has done her homework. I change, eat and then chat and read with her until she goes to bed.

Last night, there was an accident and I was running late, so I called to tell Terrnace that I was going to be a little late.

T: "GREAT! This is a perfect day for you to be late!"

Me: "What is the matter? It isn't my fault that there is an accident!"

T: "You daughter is driving me crazy. I am trying hard to not throttle the shit out of her!"

Me: I will be there as soon as I can!"

So I drive, a little recklessly, to speed home to prevent a murder/suicide from occuring.

I walk in. There is complete silence. My dinner is sitting on the table. I walk cautiously back into the bedrooms. Emily is staring at me from her room. Terrance is staring at me from his room.

Something has occurred. There is a whiff in the air as strong as a match that has just been lit and then snuffed. Something flared up here and has only recently ended.

Terrance stands up and says "I'm going out and she can't come out of her room for the rest of the night."

Oh My. My eyebrows could not have arched higher on my face. I must have looked like a suprised Joan Crawford.

Apparently there had been words. Words that involved my daughter, screaming at her father that she was a big girl and could decided that she didn't have to eat her vegetables, and frankly, he couldn't make her. He disagreed.

So, I changed and read her the book ju jour ( The Magicians Nephew by C.S. Lewis), and we talked about how maybe she could choose her words differently in the future.

And then Terrance called from the restaurant, cause he left his wallet on the table.

And I had a very deep internal laugh, cause after all, that really is funny.

This is a picture from her 4th birthday when she ran around in her bride dress attacking people with tongs. I call it "Bride goes bad"

14 Baleful Regards:

Lisa said...

I have that conversation with the hubs now and again. Only I'm the one going, "GET THIS KID OUT OF MY HAIR RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD I'M GOING TO TIE MY OWN TUBES WITH THE STEAK KNIFE RIGHT NOW IN THE DAMN KITCHEN!!!!"

Tell the hubs sorry he had to go through that from me. It sucks. I feel his pain.

Anonymous said...

LOVE the photo. Is that your computer's wallpaper?

The wallet situation - do we need to put a tracking device on that thing? How you DIDN'T laugh is really beyond me.

Fraulein N said...

Heee. Love that picture.

mamatulip said...

Thanks for the comment on my site. :)

This scenario sounds like what I come home to when I leave my husband with my children for a few hours. Between this post and the previous one, I just woke up my baby because I was laughing so hard.

Sugarmama said...

Wow, your description of the working life sounds so nice I kinda miss work right now. Sigh...

Anonymous said...

He SO needs that man purse.

Table4Five said...

My house felt just like that this morning. Only with Nathan and his homework instead. Unfortunately he couldn't get sent to his room since he had to go to school.

Did Terrance leave his wallet at home and realize it after getting to the restaurant and eating a meal? Nancy's right, he needs a purse.

Cindylou said...

Please can i be there when you tell Terance he needs a man purse? At the very least can you secretly photograph his face?

sweatpantsmom said...

Oh, but a purse is so emasculating. What about a nice manly FANNY PACK?

Anonymous said...

Hee. I suggest one of those emo kid/grunge staples of the early nineties---the chain wallet.

No more losing the wallet---and built in angst!

Anonymous said...

It's not a man-purse, it's a European carry-all.

Anonymous said...

Fox could bring back that show "Bridezilla" based on this photo alone.

I'll get you with my tongs, my little pretty! Ah HAh HA HAAAH!

Diana said...

Wait- the question of the hour is...How pissed was he that Emily got to leave her room? (Because I KNOW you weren't going to leave her in there serving her time while you got him his wallet AGAIN!) My suggestion- make out a list of things he should have before leaving the house and tape it to the door. I'm making one for myself as soon as I'm done here!!! (Had a Terrance moment this weekend!)
Love the pic!

halloweenlover said...

She is too funny! Love the picture. I think the brides that go bad are far worse than your tong-attacker.

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