"If you want Dawn to Flip her Boss off, Turn to page 14"

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Do you remember these? I loved these books - LOVED THEM! This Sunday, Terrance demanded that I place some clothing on my body that was not pajama based and exit the house - with he and our daughter. He was on "Operation Cheer Mommy Up", apparently. So we went to my favorite breakfast joint in Rye, then a little browsing through stores, ending with a "Why don't you walk around Barnes and Noble. I'll take Emily to the kids section."

WTF People, WTF? I must have looked like I was about to Sylvia Plath Bell Jar it right in front of him for him to OFFER to let me browse in Barnes and Noble, sans child. So I did. I do so love bookstores. One of the only pieces of advice, aside from "DON'T GET PREGNANT", that my mother launched in my direction was "You never waste money on books or music."

And then I saw them. The entire re-printed "Choose your Own Adventure" series. I gasped with joy. I whooped and called Emily over to share in the wonder and beauty that IS the "Choose your Own Adventure" books. I might as well called her over to admire a black and white television set. Not impressed. In the Least. Heathen.

If you want Dawn to completely change topics and write about an almost completely different subject....scroll down a bit....

OK - So thank you bunches for your lovely and kind words. I do appreciate them. I saw Sandy on Monday morning and rejoiced in her ability to cut through Life's Bullshit and say the truth. Which was:

1. Everytime I stuff my Inner voice, bad things happen. My Gut is ALWAYS right. When I deny or avoid the inner voice, I get sick and depressed.

2. It ain't me! Maybe all therapists say that - I don't know, but in describing my supervisor's behaviors, she jumped up and said "I want to read you something" - pulled out her DMS-IV and read me the clinical description of a Boderline Personality. Absolutely to a T. Perfect fit. Then Sandy said "You're exhausted because you've been trying to manage a Boderline Personality - and your range of coping skills has come to an end."

3. I now take a lovely cocktail of Wellbutrin and Prozac - We call it Well-Zac. And right now, the balance is returning. Apparently Prozac can have a dampening effect on your dopamine uptake, which Wellbutrin corrects. So my brain needs Seratonin AND dopamine. Delicious.

So, after an hour with Sandy - new meds, a renewed outlook on my situation - I came to a decision.

If you want to know what Dawn Decision may be..............scroll down a little bit more.....


So today I had a staff meeting. Every Tuesday, we sit in an immense room and waste about 2 hours. This morning I had something I wanted on the agenda. So I emailed it to my supervisor.

We get to my project on the agenda and her whole body language changes. She sits up straight. Her elbow comes on the table - she leans forward. She is preparing to battle - I am in her sights.

Me: "Blah, Blah send this out to providers in this are, Blah, Blah - accomplished to this point"
Her: "WEll - Did you call each of them and tell them it was coming?"
Me: "well, no, but I did talk to %^%^$%^ and told her about it"
Her: NO - MY question was DID YOU CALL EACH OF THEM TO TELL THEM THIS WAS COMING _ PERSONALLY."
Me: "I can. The reason I want to finish this project is because I intend my last day to be June 16th"
Her: "THATS GREAT!"
Me: "I am going to do my doctoral work"
Her: "THATS JUST GREAT!"

Silence fell. She remained grinning painfully in my direction - a grimace which was trying hard to look unthreatening, but failing miserably. Didn't ask where I was going - Didn't ask what I was studying. She just glazed over into that face, like her skull was going to crack open and a demon would leap out. Now, I haven't been accepted officially. We are, however, moving to Montreal in July.

Later she wrote a bizzare email that said "Congratulations. Please have your written resignation on my desk by the end of today so we can plan for a smooth transition in June."

Ah yes, Balance is restored. My inner voice is happy.

23 Baleful Regards:

TB said...

Whoa. This is a lot to take in, in one day. I can only imagine how you are feeling right about now.

Dealing with a Borderline Personality is exhausting. And I'm so sorry you've had to put up with her crazy-making for this long.

Does this mean, really and truly, you only have another 3-4 months with this woman? Holy shit!

sweatpantsmom said...

Congratulations on your decision - it sounds like getting away from your demon-boss can't come soon enough.

And moving to Montreal? Dish, please!

(Oh, and don't forget to take your office shoe collection with you when you leave.)

Feral Mom said...

Toxic work is some of the worst toxic there is. I am BEYOND happy for you to be getting out, this is fantastic news-- And Montreal is rumored to be the coolest city in North America. Congratulations on all fronts!

Mommygoth said...

YaHOO!

Jaelithe said...

Wow, she does sound like a jerk. Good show!

Perhaps the impending change of scenery will also improve your spirits :)

I hope you feel sunnier soon.

Contrary said...

Oh, thank GOD! Perhaps a nice side effect of your having given notice will be that she'll recognize how hard it is to try to intimidate a person who is on their way out, of their own volition.

I think I dislike your bad work person almost as much as I dislike mine. But you've given me hope! Perhaps one day I will no longer have to work with this person! That would be swell.

Congrats, Dawn, and don't take even the least little bit of shit from her for the remainder of your time there. What is she gonna do? Fire you? Ha!

halloweenlover said...

Bitch. I can't believe her! Would it have killed her to muster some enthusiasm?

I do remember those choose your adventure books- loved them. And so happy to hear that you have new meds, and a new plan of action! I've never been to Montreal, can I come visit?

Esereth said...

I LOVED those books. My favorite one always had me dying on a mountain of diamonds from poison gas. I don't remember how I got there.

Maybe your boss lady was just angry that she was losing you and trying to contain herself?

Maybe she is a demon. We won't know for sure until you crack her head open.

V said...

Ahhhh....the big take you're BS and shove it in only one and a half short months. that must've been a fine moment....and a nice big sigh of relief!

mama_tulip said...

Congratulations on your decisions -- work, wellness, moving, etc. It's a lot to have going on, but it's all relatively good. And that's good.

And Montreal? Dude. Welcome to Canada, eh?

Jess said...

Ahhh, balance.

Emily might not be into them, but I totally share your joy over the Choose Your Own Adventure Series. The possibilities!

Andrea said...

Hi, Dawn! I found your blog through Jaelithe's State of Discontent and I have been hooked, catching up on your archives.

Sounds to me like your boss was almost giddy with the news you'd be leaving. Bee-yotch. The only thing better is the knowledge that, notice given, you have a certain amount of freedom you didn't have before. Maybe you could spend the time crafting a draft of your farewell speech, complete with your honest thoughts of your boss, and maybe the lady who takes her shoes off and funks you out with her podiatric stench.

I, too, loved the Choose your Adventure books as a kid. I even attempted to write one when I was ten or so. I think I only got through a couple choices before I ran out of ideas, so I just picked up another one to read and left the writing for later.

Good luck in Montreal! I wanna hear all about it.

Sugarmama said...

Ooooooh, she sounds CREEPY! It's good that you're getting out--congratulations!

MrsFortune said...

Weird-o-rama. She certainly does sound like the borderline type to me.

I LOVED CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!!! If I weren't broke right now I'd run and snatch those up for me self! Those were the best.

Fraulein N said...

I loved those Choose Your Adventure books, but I used to cheat to get an outcome that wasn't a painful horrifying death. (It's harder than you'd think.)

Glad you've got your Well-Zac and are getting away from your bee-yotch of a supervisor.

Beth said...

i can just see her head spltting open and that little dancing alien from SpaceBalls jumping out and doing a little soft shoe on the conference table.

i am so happy about the Choose Your Own Adventure news!!!!! Did you happen to notice if they reprinted #8 "Who Killed Harlowe Thrombey?" Because I will need to obtain that. Now. I just bought five of those books off eBay like 2 years ago. love. love. love.

i, too, am skirting a new depression and thinking seriously about therapy. since my friends and family are useless right now.

we need to try to meet up before you leave in July!

Nancy said...

So Dawn's Choose Your Own Adventure has a semi-happy ending. I am glad you get to say sayonara to your psycho-sounding boss. The best thing is that you can grin and bear it for a few months knowing it's almost over!

Elizabeth said...

Love Choose Your Own Adventure books! Love, LOVE Wellbutrin. It's what keeps me on an even keel on a daily basis. HATE your Boss and wish an anvil would fall on her head in the middle of a meeting. That email was bizarre-it takes her 3 months to put together a "smooth transition"? Bitch.

Catherine said...

It's nice to come back from a blogging hiatus and find some good news while making the rounds.

If it hasn't been said enough here, let me just say it one more time for you, Dawn - glad to hear that you're feeling better! :)

Marcie said...

This is so weird. I saw the choose your own adventure books at the bookstore on Tuesday and bought one for my daughter. I loved those books when I was young. I hope my daughter does too. It's not Jane Austen, but if they help instill a love for reading that's good enough for me.

mothergoosemouse said...

That beeyotch totally deserved to get the news in such a manner and in such surroundings. Slam dunk! I would have been shaking with excitement, waiting to drop the bomb.

Thanks for the update on your session. You are a smart woman (duh...but never hurts to be reminded).

And I will have to tell Kyle about the choose-your-own resurgence. Very cool!

Meghan said...

Your supervisor sounds like a psyhcopathic a-hole. Run Dawn! RUN!! As fast as you can. Good for you for getting away from a toxic place.

I am glad you are feeling more like yourself. Depression bites. Hard.

Li said...

Montreal! That is so great. If you haven't been, it is such a great city. Perhaps a change will do the soul good.

 
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