Real Love

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

There are moments in every relationship when you understand that things have changed. Gone are the urgent desires of courtship. Gone are the moments when you would walk into a room and see your beloved and spontaneously offer to have sex with him or her, right now.

With a child and the passage of time, these desires morph into more practical desires to get the laundry folded, or the lunch packed tonight so you don’t have to run around at 7:43 a.m. asking, “Will you eat this?”

Last night we had another one of these moments:

Me: “Hey – do the blades on that new trimmer get dull?”
Him: “Why? Did you want to use it for something?”
Me: “Yeah, I need to do a trim”
Him: “A trim? OH, a trim”
Me: “Yeah. We’re talking about the same thing, right?”
Him: “Yes. I suppose you could use the trimmers to trim, but you may want to use a guide on the blade.”
Me: “No, I just need to trim prior to waxing and scissors are awfully unwieldy.”
Him: “Well, if you wanted a really close trim, you could use a straight razor.”
Me: I don’t think so – I just need to trim enough so when I wax I’m not taking out an inch and a half of hair. So do you mind?”
Him: “Mind what? Waxing?”
Me: “No, if I use your trimmers for the before mentioned purpose”
Him: “No, as long as you clean the clippers after. I mean I don’t want them to smell like crotch every time I go to do my face”
Me: “There was a time when you wouldn’t have minded that…”
Him: “Yes, But now I have seen you give birth.”
Me: “I love you more for the fact that we have just had this conversation.”

That, my friends, is what a long term relationship is all about.

22 Baleful Regards:

Mabel said...

LOL, hell, Finn and I haven't been together that long and we already have conversations like this (less the giving birth part). Is that a bad sign?

Mignon said...

"I mean I don’t want them to smell like crotch every time I go to do my face"

That would be some powerfully strong smell pubes, wouldn't it? And besides, which would be worse, him having exfoliating mask mud all over his face or a couple harmless little hairs... ;)

Kristen said...

I am under the same impression - the mystique is gone once they've seen you pop out a baby.

And I don't think there is any going back.

Elizabeth said...

He's worried the clippers will "smell like crotch"? Jesus, does he think you don't bathe?

Also, you're a stronger woman than me if you can wax that area because I am a BABY about that kind of pain. No thanks.

Nancy said...

Ah, the glamour of married life. ;-)

jen said...

you're a bettter person than I am. I wouldn'tve bothered asking, and I wouldn'tve bothered to cleaning it either (if that makes me Josie Grossy of the internet, so be it).

What you don't think he "grooms" with that?)

madge said...

I would say I got out of the de-mystification by having a c-section. But there was still all the other lovely pregnancy things he got to see and do. (Hey, it's really hard to apply Anusol by yourself when you are 10 months pregnant!)

So-Called Supermom said...

I laughed the entire way through this post! HYSTERICAL!

Just proof that things really do change after giving birth!

Mom101 said...

Ha, this is great. I never did understand women who felt they couldn't pee or shave or talk about scary icky birth-y things with their husbands. You have it down, Mama!

Lisa said...

We just had a conversation about this this morning. Hubby kept scratching his crotch. I asked (jokingly) if he had crabs. He said it was because he "trimmed too much off."

Contrary said...

Me(enticingly): Hey, Honey, I shaved just for you.

Him(enthralled: Ooh, really? Let me see!

Me: Okay! (pulls up pants leg)

Him(crestfallen): Oh, you meant your legs.

I wonder if he's trying to tell me something.

Jess said...

Contrary--HA! Your comment just killed me dead.

We haven't gotten to that point yet. I look forward to it . . .

marshatm said...

Ahhh, romance.

I guess there has to be something to talk about once the kids are out of the baby stage and the only conversation revolved around the consistency, shape, smell, frequency and velocity of poop.

Dawn said...

Saddest of all was my offer to "let him shave for me" which was responded to with this:

"What the hell would I want to do that for?"

Oh yeah. The raw chemistry!

Li said...

This reality tv show is the best!!! Hey, mine wouldn├Ęt have sex while I was pregnant. I alway said it was because when he saw me he thought, "Fat chic! Fat chic! Fat chic!" He says he conveniently doesn't remember a thing.

Clippers really are the way...try his an hers and then switch them and see how the crotch smell holds. I am just evil that way. Although I did tell mine when my son used his toothbrush to brush my ass. That's love.

TB said...

This whole post and comment thread is awesome but the thing I have to ask is Lisa, your husband trims?

roo said...

I love the smell of clippers in the morning.

Smells like... victory.

(No connection between the scent of your crotch and Napalm intended.)

The Gradual Gardener said...

I just have to tell you, given my occupation, I had a whole different image in my head about the "trimmer." I didn't "get it" until the very end of the conversation. I kept thinking, "Why on earth does she need to use a weed-wacker for in the winter?"

I think I'd better go have a little more coffee...

jubyred said...

So romantic...

mama_tulip said...

That's love, baby.

halloweenlover said...

Sounds like love to me too. So if I'm ever lucky enough to give birth, should I not let Josh watch?

banzai said...

That's a heck of a trim if it takes a weed whacker!! ;-P

 
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