When will Spring get here???

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Ode to my Arm Fat

I brush my hair, You wave at me
From my bathroom mirror morning ritual
Mousse eyeliner, arm fat

Doesn’t my cleavage look great
In this strapless dress?
Arm fat smiles, dimpled in the sun

I expected my ass to fall
My boobs to droop, my belly stretch marked
But you, arm fat, were quite unexpected.

Mission accomplished
Arm Fat,
Indeed.

24 Baleful Regards:

Diana said...

jiggle.jiggle. eeewwww. I have some too. I think i'm swearing off sleeveless shirts for the summer...

mama_tulip said...

I have enough for anyone who wants to join the Cool Arm Fat Club.

sweatpantsmom said...

Dawn, I'm singing this now.

Can you write one for 'midriff roll' too?

Jaelithe said...

I think I need to go write an ode to my stretch marks now. Seriously.

I am trying to stave off the dreaded Coming of the Floppy Arm Fat with all sorts of daily exercises involving my wimpy little 5 and 10 lb dumbbells, but I think I may be fighting a losing battle . . .

Jess Riley said...

Ha! Loved this.

Last night a friend of ours emailed some baby photos and I was in one of them, holding their newborn. Of course I didn't remark on the wonder and magic of new life but instead exclaimed, "Jesus my chin is so DOUBLE! And when did my arm get so HUGE?"

Mom101 said...

Oh man, I totally forgot that short sleeve season is coming up. I'm screwed.

Mommygoth said...

Yeah, that one took me off guard too. Bummer, huh? I mean, I haul a fat baby around all the time and I STILL don't have good arms?

Beth said...

yeah! how is it that I spend my days carrying around the dead weight of children and my arms still register on the Richter scale when I wave goodbye?

not cool.

Lisa said...

I KNOW! My arms are starting to do that too. When I stop waving, my arm fat is still flapping in the breeze.

(Sort of like my hubby's penis years ago when he answered that fateful knock on his door many years ago. LOVED your comment, by the way!heehee.)

MrsFortune said...

Yeah, where does it come from anyway, and how to get rid of it! I've always wondered. :)

jen said...

let's talk about the "silent killer" no one speaks of...Back Fat. The time for awareness is now!

Elizabeth said...

I could write a similar poem about staring in horror at my thigh when my husband gave it a playful slap. The jiggling lasted way longer than it should.

Contrary said...

Arm fat makes me weep
as it jiggles gently to
and fro. I love sleeves.

That was for you, Dawn. I know, touching, ain't it?

Nancy said...

A haiku for U:

Arm fat sure sucks, but...
What about the cellulite?
Dimpled fat thighs, gross.

Or maybe I am the only one with this particular issue. Oh, and the rolls and pudgy belly and arm fat, of course.

Spring is here -- sigh.

TB said...

I have a sonnet to my saddlebags, but I can't get the iambic pentameter just right. So I've decided to let them spread a little more while I finish it up.

Feral Mom said...

Ode to Three Quarter Sleeves:
You are shorter than long sleeves,
Yet long enough to shield my arm fat
From the disapproving gaze of the neighbors.

Mama D said...

You crack me up.

mothergoosemouse said...

Arm fat, back fat - both
are disconcerting, but worse
is wrinkled tummy.

How the FUCK am I supposed to get rid of this wrinkled tummy?

Bobita said...

Just this very morning, as I was lying on the floor snuggling babies...my arm fat was stepped upon twice. Just a little pinch of it...underneath the toes of babes...

And after reading your post, I'm thinking...a person can have a career as a "hand" model and even a "foot" model...do you suppose there is any money in being an "arm fat" model?

broominyaya said...

here's a story to make you all feel better:

I used to take organ lessons (musical instrument that is - ha!) from a very stern, large, old bag when I was 6. Aside from her scaring me - she had the looonnggest hanging, giggling arm fat ever. I was so distracted by it in the middle of our lessons that I had to quit, just wasn't learning anything to do with music.

However, from every pit grows something useful - Now, when I get soo irritated and disgusted with my armfat I remember Mrs. M and am grateful for my armfat. :)

Mignon said...

Like a knife to my heart.
Fat, why do you go where none have gone before. Shoot, I probably even have a fat taint.

Meghan said...

You write beautifully about arm fat. And I think that's hard to do. Good job!

trisha said...

My arm fat is ruining my life.

TDharma said...

What Feral Mom said! I loooovvvvvveeeee the 3/4 sleeve. I haven't worn short or sleeveless for 20 years! I just don't think it's kind to the world around me.

funny post! Got here via Heather at MommyGoth. Glad I came!

 
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