Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Well,I am home. I have been acupunctured.

And may I say, If I was a lesbian, I would have proposed to the acupuncture lady afterwards. I'm serious. I think it's love.

(Let me put a disclaimer out that I have been drinking the maple martinis and damn, they ARE good - and listening to my FAVE Nancy Griffith CD, so let the good times roll, baby)

So, I go to her office. I have had lots of "treatments" and "therapies" in my life. Reikei, Spa, massage, Psycho - I am, if nothing, adventurous. I fill out the LONG ASS questionairre. Man. These Chinese herbalists don't fuck around. They want to knowEVERYTHING.

I walk in, and sit in a lovely sitting area. The natural light is gorgeous and the sun feels amazing. She asks me why I am there.

I burst into Tears. Gulping, sobbing Tears. I tell her all about why I am there. I tell her it is going to sound crazy.

The dreams that started in April, the re-connection with a long absent person in my life, the sadness, the longing, the fear, the desire - my anger at myself for not being in control and hiding these emotions.

I cry and cry. I try to explain that This Isn't Me. I don't behave like this. This is crazy and illogical and doing me no good. That every time this person thinks of me, I get tingles in my limbs, and a pain in my heart. That I love this person, but I can't make decisions for them. I can't help them to know what is right for them, that while I think it may be This lifetime for me, it may not be for them. I have to wait and be silent and that this kills me. I cry, and cry, and cry. I empty myself in her office.

She smiles. She reassures me. She examines my tongue and pulse. She tells me that I have a blood deficiency - a Chi issue. There are blocks in my energy. My liver is overflowing and my pulse weak. My tongue shows "dampness" - there is a fog over my brain.

I smile at her. I know all of this. I am ready.

I lay on her table. There is water flowing and music. She tells me where she will insert the needles - My palms, My feet, My ears, My ribs, My forehead. Am I nervous?

No. I am hopeful. I need this.

She taps the hollow tubes that hold the needles on the spots where she will insert them.

"Take a deep yoga breath in and then exhale."

On the exhale, she taps the needles into the spots. It pinches, but doesn't hurt. She explains that I have alot of emotion blocked around my mid-section,. That explains the pains and the hot spots around my torso. When she taps the needles into those spots, waves of energy flow up and down my spine. It tingles. It tickles. It releases.

I cry a little more, but not much. I lay there and feel the energy move through my body, up into my head. I breathe in and out.

After a while she comes to take the needles out. I feel incredible. She has me stretch. I come to reclining Mountain pose and laugh. She laughs.

"This is me", I say. I laugh some more.

She tells me to be gentle with myself. Drink water and don't be suprised if the energy unblocking does unexpected things.

I am Queen of the unexpected. I expect nothing less. My energy flows out of me and back in. I am fluid again. I have nothing but time. I laugh again.

17 Baleful Regards:

Anonymous said...

I've always called myself Acupuncture's Biggest Fan. But, baby, I have been de-throned.

Glad to hear your energy's flowing better. Bring on those needles!

Her Bad Mother said...

Acupuncture rocks. Truly.

But you MUST explain maple martinis! What? How? Must have!

Anonymous said...

Wow..that's phenomenal. I need some of that. Ask your lady of she knows anyone good...really good, in Tampa. For realz.

Anonymous said...

I'd like a piece of that, as well. I've had acupuncture a few times for my misbehaving uterus, but I sort of hated it . . .with the music and darkness and the lying around. Maybe I should try it again.

E. said...

Wow this is intense. I love that you are such a smart ass and so irreverent and yet you can get so deep and new agey. I have no problem with new age shit as long as people keep a sense of humor. It's when every damned thing has to be serious that I begin to want to smack me a hippie. (And I love hippies, mostly.)

I've always wanted to try acupuncture. I sought it out to try to ease my morning sickness when I was pregnant, but for some reason I could never hook up with the one Chinese dude in town who does it (who is also a karate teacher, is very busy, and doesn't have much English).

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. I've always wanted to get acupunture done. How can I NOT go after reading this? I'm glad it was such an amazing experience for you.

Anonymous said...

Your story makes me fear the needles a little less. A little.

Lena said...

Oookay. I am SO trying this. I want someone to tell me to be gentle to myself!

Fraulein N said...

Sounds like it really helped. Excellent.

JayMonster said...

Yay You!

Yay, Miss Accupunturist Lady!

butterfly cocoon said...

I loved reading your accupuncture experience. I'm a believer in it. I love the feeling of chi rushing and giving me a high. I'll take it where I can these days...
Mine used to burn a moxie stick and I feel pretty sure it had hashish in it.....maybe not.
Anyway, great blog and writing!

oshee said...

I am so glad that it helped you!

Lisa said...

WOw. Know of one in St.L? I am interested....

Anonymous said...

What Elizabeth said. You make it sound so wonderful that I might actually be able to overcome my dislike of needles.

Mom-101 gave me some recs for finding a good acupuncturist. I'm thinking I might need to stop putting it off and take the plunge.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what E. said. I'm glad you're better.

Mom101 said...

I am so glad it's working for you. My dearest friend is a (big time) acupuncturist around here and the free needling is definitely a perk. Saved me on many an occassion.

Anonymous said...

Jesus, that sounds awesome. I'm so glad it helped.

◄Design by Pocket