Meme for YouYou

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I'm a little..um...distracted. So I am ripping this meme off from both Jenn and Jess (and every one else who has done it). I know they want me to have it as my own.
Forgive my absence in the blog-o-sphere. I will be around soon.

I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon, which I am REALLY looking forward to having. Not to sound too "new age" on all of you, but I have been having this issue where I can feel someone specific thinking about me. It has been happening since April. It's like being jolted with electricity. On one hand, I am thrilled. On the other, exhausted. My grief and longing starts anew every time it happens and I can't, I just can't. Other things need to be attended to at home and work. So, I go to acupuncture and try to close my Chakras to this energy. I need to protect myself, for I am too vulnerable right now. There will be a time for this, but not now. Until then, I do what I hate to do - wait, and watch and stay silent.

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I am a bundle of contradictions.

I want unmitigated inner peace and happiness. And flat abs. Sigh.

I wish for the perfect Creme Brulee. I had one once in Quebec City. It was a revelation. Most Creme Brulee's are Awful. Like cold flan with burnt sugar.

I hate crusty feet. And shitty people. And lima beans.

I miss very little. Except in a few rare instances, then I miss Alot.

I fear the unknown. Since everything is unknown, it's a rotten fear to have.

I hear Anna Nalick's CD Wreck of the Day

I wonder where I will be a year from now.

I regret not having my depression diagnosed a long time ago. And taking the med's. That was a good idea I resisted for far too long.

I am not a shy person, but I am an introvert. I talk more when I am nervous. If that is possible, which it is.

I dance with abandon. I love to dance. I'm not fabulous, but I love it.

I sing also with abandon - constantly. And I'm not bad at this.

I cry more easily than I used to. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I make with my hands Quilts. Beautiful quilts and wool rugs. And words.

I write to keep myself sane and to empty my head. It's a busy place in there.

I confuse my right and my left hand all the time. Don't ask driving directions.

I need a home base from which to be tethered. I can do anything from that home, but I need it in order to refresh my soul.

I should not fight every change so hard. Even the good changes, I fight. It's my nature. It's exhausting.

I start a Ph.D. program in August. I'm terrified. I'm thrilled. It's like I'm being let into a secret club, but I'm not sure I know all the passwords.

I finish what I start. Through sheer stubborn force of will, if necessary. When things go unfinished, it works at me until I finish it. Unfinished things cry out for completion. Some may call that obsessive, I call it tenacity.

11 Baleful Regards:

mothergoosemouse said...

I have been hearing a lot about acupuncture lately. I wonder if my new health insurance covers it. There's multitudes of shit wrong with me that could probably be cured by a few needles (if only I could get past the needle part).

Love your answers. It's odd that I feel as if I know you so well, without ever having met you. I appreciate how honest you are - it's that honesty and consistency that lets me know I'm seeing the real Dawn.

Kim said...

Does acupunture really work like that? What happens to the closed off energy?

Peace to you.

Dawn said...

Maybe I shouldn't have said I was closing the energy, but trying to get it to flow differently. I'm feeling kind of beaten up by this energy, so I need to shield the tender parts from it and get it to flow differently.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow!

TB said...

I agree with Julie and I am so looking forward to meeting you.

mamatulip said...

I love this meme...your answers are so real. It's just so...you.

madge said...

Um, JEALOUS! I looooooove acupuncture. It makes almost everything better.

(Julie: they are nothing like injection needles.)

I think you already know all the passwords.

Mignon said...

Go get well - we'll wait impatiently until you poked away your demons.

wordgirl said...

I've heard accupuncture really works. I hope you feel better afterward(s). New things terrify me and I tend to overthink them.

Elizabeth said...

Acupuncture scares me because of the needles, but intrigues me because I suspect that I am boiling over with stored-up tension and blocked energy. But again, the needles.

Nancy said...

I am the same way about the introvert/nervous talking thing. You can always tell when I'm upset or unsettled because I jabber on like a madwoman (you can see it in my blog sometimes.)

I love your answers. More of the real supafine Dawn.

Mommygoth said...

"I hate crusty feet. And shitty people. And lima beans."

Man, truer words have NEVER been spoken.

 
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