Meme for YouYou

I'm a little..um...distracted. So I am ripping this meme off from both Jenn and Jess (and every one else who has done it). I know they want me to have it as my own.
Forgive my absence in the blog-o-sphere. I will be around soon.

I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon, which I am REALLY looking forward to having. Not to sound too "new age" on all of you, but I have been having this issue where I can feel someone specific thinking about me. It has been happening since April. It's like being jolted with electricity. On one hand, I am thrilled. On the other, exhausted. My grief and longing starts anew every time it happens and I can't, I just can't. Other things need to be attended to at home and work. So, I go to acupuncture and try to close my Chakras to this energy. I need to protect myself, for I am too vulnerable right now. There will be a time for this, but not now. Until then, I do what I hate to do - wait, and watch and stay silent.

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I am a bundle of contradictions.

I want unmitigated inner peace and happiness. And flat abs. Sigh.

I wish for the perfect Creme Brulee. I had one once in Quebec City. It was a revelation. Most Creme Brulee's are Awful. Like cold flan with burnt sugar.

I hate crusty feet. And shitty people. And lima beans.

I miss very little. Except in a few rare instances, then I miss Alot.

I fear the unknown. Since everything is unknown, it's a rotten fear to have.

I hear Anna Nalick's CD Wreck of the Day

I wonder where I will be a year from now.

I regret not having my depression diagnosed a long time ago. And taking the med's. That was a good idea I resisted for far too long.

I am not a shy person, but I am an introvert. I talk more when I am nervous. If that is possible, which it is.

I dance with abandon. I love to dance. I'm not fabulous, but I love it.

I sing also with abandon - constantly. And I'm not bad at this.

I cry more easily than I used to. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I make with my hands Quilts. Beautiful quilts and wool rugs. And words.

I write to keep myself sane and to empty my head. It's a busy place in there.

I confuse my right and my left hand all the time. Don't ask driving directions.

I need a home base from which to be tethered. I can do anything from that home, but I need it in order to refresh my soul.

I should not fight every change so hard. Even the good changes, I fight. It's my nature. It's exhausting.

I start a Ph.D. program in August. I'm terrified. I'm thrilled. It's like I'm being let into a secret club, but I'm not sure I know all the passwords.

I finish what I start. Through sheer stubborn force of will, if necessary. When things go unfinished, it works at me until I finish it. Unfinished things cry out for completion. Some may call that obsessive, I call it tenacity.