I am such a sell out

Tuesday, April 18, 2006




Now that you have heard my fanfare, we have a little announcement here at Balefulregards.

Despite warnings to the contrary, certain "attention" has been brought to bear on this blog.

We thought that with the references to clubbing my child like a "baby seal", or the child rearing advice of Vlad the Impaler, we were sure to attract a very specific clientele and - dare we hope it- fan base. This fan base would laugh as I am blinded by my child who presses a blue ultra violet light to my sleeping eyeball, and then refer to her as channeling "Mengele". Maybe my offer to shank Santa, or turn the Easter bunny into rabbit stew drew you here?

No? That not your thing? Do you come here for the witty repartee between my spouse and I including, but not limited to "Don't fuck with me!" Was it my obscure references to 19th century literature? My unlimited use of expletives? My love of all things Hobbit?

Well apparently, it did not scare the folks at ClubMom. I had perused their site and thought "Oh, they are Sooooooo not going to look at my shizit - this is where the Uber-Mom's hang out.". I also sent my application in a day late - but I had an excellent excuse....um, I did. Really.

But today I got the email. I have been CHOSEN as one of the ClubMom Bloggers. This leads me to two separate and distinct conclusions.

1. Nobody at ClubMom read my blog and/or application and they have NO idea about my style of writing.

or the more likely (in my mind)

2. They liked what I write and are trying to expand their audience to the "real parents" of the world - the ones like me - and you. I got no tips for how to turn cupcakes into replicas of dinosaur eggs. I make no homemade cards, or do crafty projects. But I will call it how I see it. Cause these people are going to PAY me to do this. I was perfectly happy to give it away for free, but here they came and made it all legit and shit.

So, my interpretive dancers will take you out as I ponder the weird shit that flows through this universe and that the gifts come in all shapes and sizes.

20 Baleful Regards:

Cindy said...

GO Dawn! Someday i will call you or show up on your doorstep wityh all my personal demons adn we can have an exorcism party. I need help!

mama_tulip said...

Congrats, Dawn! That's awesome.

Nancy said...

I am honored, privileged, and pleased to know such an esteemed blogger. Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you make craft items out of acorns, popsicle sticks, and wire hangers.

Jaelithe said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! Dawn gets paid for being awesome!

So nice to hear some good news after your troubles lately. I really loved your posts on Truth and Pain, because they were beautifully written and apply to so many things that have happened in my own life, but I have been worrying about you.

I do hope you are feeling much better.

C.ELLA said...

It's nice to know that non-uber moms will have a voice. Congrats.

mothergoosemouse said...

I'm sorry that I neglected to page down and read this.

Congrats to you. I will read whatever you write, wherever you write it. Even if you write it at Club Mom.

And I applaud you for applying. I never even considered applying because I didn't want to be rejected. I'm still a little unsure that I'm worth reading, and I didn't need external validation of my uber-suckage.

I'm so excited for you!

sweatpantsmom said...

Congrats Dawn! You rock.

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations Dawn! You really deserve it. I'll be happy to come on over to Club Mom once you get going.

roo said...

Ah, the Ass Trumpet-- the most woefully-underused instrument in the Brass Section...

Congratulations, Dawn!

Izzy said...

Congratulations! That totally ROCKS!!!!! I'm so happy for you :)

The Other Mrs. B said...

Oooo Oooo Oooo - (waving hand stretched high in the air) - can I hire your interpretive dancers???

Mommy off the Record said...

Congratulations! I was referred over by IzzyMom's recent post. I have to say that I am now interested in reading you more often (not really for the ClubMom thing, though that IS great), but for that totally awesome picture of men in unintards that you posted. I'm hooked!

krista said...

Hey, I am so glad that you got the job! You are a great writer. Congratulations- you totally deserve it.

Lena said...

Congrats Dawn! I'm so excited for us!

Undercover Angel said...

Congratulations! You are a great writer and you will do well!

TB said...

Sweet - you've been giving it away for too long as it is - well, I mean, I know you have an actual job in which you get paid to talk about rearing children and the like, but this is different. :o)

sweetney said...

welcome to the selling out! looking forward to sharing the selling outingness wit chu!

Mom101 said...

How the hell did I ever miss this post? I had to read about it through amalah? Wtf?

Or maybe I did read it and it didn't even register because I just sort of assume that you're going to be chosen for these kinds of things because you're so good at what you do. And by that I mean blogging. Also selling out. You're my role model in that regard. You and Courteney Love.

Jenny said...

Aw yeah! I'm so glad you'll be blogging over at ClubMom (meee tooo)

Shock and Awe, baby.

sweetney said...

see you over in the land of the sellouts (i too am going)...

 
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