Xhaustion - Live it, Love it, Be it

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Xhaustion – the new fragrance for today’s woman



Xhaustion- for the woman who works full time – in or out of the home


Paris, France- Women cheered as the new fragrance “Xhaustion” was launched. Created by accident when a pan of milk boiled down, burning the bottom of the pan. The pan was left with lemon dish soap to soak in the sink, and later had peaches, applesauce and hotdogs placed inside while the dishes were being rinsed off.

While the fragrances creator is still unknown, the Man who brought the fragrance to market had this to say about his unknown muse. “I am entirely grateful for the fact that who ever this mistress of scent may be, she felt compelled to simply throw the pan out in the garbage. When I walked by that trash can and smelled that aroma, I knew I had a winner,” stated Jean St. Poofda.

Aimed at the woman is so tired she can’t tell her black shoe from her blue shoe, Xhaustion signifies a departure from Jean St Poofda’s earlier, floral based fragrances.
“The Woman who wears Xhaustion projects a sense of inner defeat. She seems to say to those around her “Just eat the fucking cheese doodles and leave me alone.”

When approached on the street, women who smelled Xhaustion were unaware that they smelled anything. “Is there something in this bottle?” asked an unidentified woman, walking by in a broken heel and hunched over with a large, overstuffed purse. Another woman, with a baby in a front carrier, and another in a backpack was heard to say, “What? What? Good God - do you see a binky? I can’t find the binky!!,” before she ran down the street – apparently consumed by the joy of the Xhaustion.

Whether worn for a night falling asleep on the couch while watching “Lost” after eating several Advil Liqui-Gels for your raging headache, or a day filled with attempts to teach your child to speak Japanese phonetically so the other playgroup mothers don’t cast you out, Xhaustion is a very versatile fragrance.

23 Baleful Regards:

Mama D said...

I should get me some of dat'. And some falling asleep watching "Lost". Mmmm. Matthew Fox...

Kristen said...

Is that Britney's new fragrance? Oh no, that's "Iamamommaandstilldresslikeaho"

:)

mothergoosemouse said...

"Just eat the fucking cheese doodles and leave me alone."

You are KILLING me.

TB said...

How do you come up with this stuff? So right on.

MrsFortune said...

"Speaking Japanese phonetically" - is there any other way to speak it? Just kidding, I have NO idea, but I'm gonna get me some of this stuff. Although I have quite a nice natural stench of the stuff around me anyway ...

mama_tulip said...

Git me some of that there perfume!

jen said...

clearly marketing was your calling.

Off the top of me head, we could get the mom from Malcolm in the Middle to be in your commercial.

IzzyMom said...

Too funny and more than little familiar!

I've actually done the one blue/one black shoe.

The Gradual Gardener said...

Fall asleep during Lost? Two days straight of no sleep couldn't make me do that! In fact, last night I had coffee at 7:30pm, just so I could be sure I'd make it until ten!

madge said...

Aaaah. I love the smell of Xhaustion in the morning. Especially after a night of 103 degree fevers and baths and very late night Animal Planet.

Spot on, Dawn. Spot ON.

Sugarmama said...

Ha! After our third night in a row of Bean screaming from 3:00 til 4:30 for no discernible reason, I could use some of this! I almost walked Sister to school this morning still wearing my slippers...

Diana said...

I knew I should have copyrighted that scent. I smell like that all the time.
Wonderful post dawn, as always.

Nancy said...

Love the eau de hot dog thrown in with the boiled milk and fruity scents. Nice touch. :-)

Elizabeth said...

Would Xhaustion smell like formula spit-up mixed with Grape Infant Tylenol Drops and Balmex? If so, sign me the hell UP!

I luuurve you, Dawn.

sweatpantsmom said...

Mmmmmm...hot dogs and lemon dish soap. I heard that combo drives the men wild.

And the smell of 'inner defeat'? Get me a bottle, quick.

Meghan said...

Oh Man. That was a good laugh. Thanks.

Love the cheese doodles part.

Your mind is a beuatiful thing Dawn. A beautiful thing.

Contrary said...

To me, Xhaustion smells like dirty dogs and SpongeBob cheese crackers.

Mommygoth said...

Have you considered submitting any of your writing to The Onion? I think they are looking for you.......love it!

Lisa said...

I don't have that purfume but since its been raining alot this week I have a different one --- Wet Dog.

Lena said...

Okay, you're the funniest biotch on the internet. Search: done.

bon said...

I laughed and laughed at this post... and then I cried.
I am still crying.
now, I will take my dead-tired self and go to bed.

roo said...

Just make sure you don't spill any on Terrance's clippers...

robyn said...

I had to read this one outloud to my husband whether he 'got it' or not!

 
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