In which Dawn gets spectacularly drunk and blogs-

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Oh Deary, deary dear. I have taken a photo essay in which I consume the whole bottle of wine and then blog about it.

Dawn is feeling good. Good with the aid of a bottle of good Spanish wine. White, if you must know.

All right. So I spontaneously decided the drink the whole bottle of wine. None of your damn business. But at least you get to reap the benefits.

Here I am at 7 p.m. Yeah. I tried to gnaw the cork off of the bottle. I mean, I got it off once. Why can't I get it off again? Apparently, my teeth aren't made for this task...
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And then I show you my attempts to get the rest of the cork out of the bottle.
Sigh.


OK - here is the 3rd glass of good Spanish wine. Full. Mmmmm. You are my friend Spanish wine.



And then I decide to pay tribute to my girlfriends. Who, frankly, are the balls. I mean, they give me this shit....Yeah. It says "Most Likely to Succeed" -What of it Bitch? And this..

Yeah, it is the Ganagsta Rap coloring book. What of it? Props to my be-yotch Leah and Denise.


And then, what next?


Yeah, I take a look to see how much wine is left. I estimate a glass and a half.


I think that will take me about 46 minutes to get down.


Did I mention that I am pretty sure that wine has ALL of your vitamins and minerals?


That glass looks lonely. Should it be refilled?

Oh, Shit yeah...


Hmmm, here is Dawn, downing the glass. Delici-ou-sess.


Go Dawn, Go!


Again. Why does Dawn need to get drunk tonight? None of your damn business. Just enjoy her ability to make a spectacle of herself...
Dawn Goes outside to enjoy her last glass..



The loons are singing. She is drinking the last of the bottle.



Salute!



Dawn looks at the night sky...



and Ponders her existence. The Desert. Straws. Firefly. John Mayer's
"Your Body is a Wonderland" plays on her CD player - over and over. Givers, Takers and choices. Sadness, elation, and joy. All rolled up in a bottle of Spanish white wine which will make her sleep for at least tonight. As John Mayer sings. Her candy lips. Her bubblegum tongue.

"Damn Baby, you frustrate me..."

She hopes that tomorrow will bring better things...She swims in a deep sea of blankets...

30 Baleful Regards:

Esereth said...

You are a fun drunk, Missy.

I don't like that Jon Mayer song. Rock always sings it, "Your body is a Taco Stand" and that's just not so romantic.

Elizabeth said...

I like that John Mayer song too. And am loving these pictures. I like your glasses and your haircut too.

Hey, I saw a t-shirt today and thought of you. It started out like that AA "Serenity Prayer", the one that goes "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can" except then the shirt said "and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies after I kill the people who have pissed me off". Hmmm?

Also, that second-to-last photo, what is that wispy thing coming off of your hand?

Mom101 said...

Oh man, love this, love you, and love now knowing from what I can see of you, that VICTORY WILL BE MINE in the 1st annual BlogHer Ass-Off.

I'm a happy silly drunk too, for what it's worth. Drink lots of water before bed please.

sweatpantsmom said...

Hey - I just got done hosting an ice skating party for ten kids and a sleepover for four.

I'm going to join you in that glass of wine - er, I mean BOTTLE.

lildb said...

Sweet jeebus, Dawn. I think you're my cyber-alcoholic-doppelganger for the day. Well, that is, if today were yesterday. (I spent all of this one trying to pretend that I wasn't hungover; yeah, that didn't work out so well.)

I hope you feel better tomorrow than I (didn't) feel today. :P

Nancy said...

Sigh. My friend, I am sorry you had a bad day. I hope the wine took the edge off and that tomorrow is better.

Moobs said...

So, in the interests of science, did you get any morning after photos?

Jaelithe said...

Aw, man, I WOKE UP this morning wanting to crack open a bottle, after dealing with the Great Birthday Cookie Burning Incident last night thanks to my husband who apparently thought "I have to deal with the boy-- please pull those cookies out in two minutes-- they're almost done," meant "I have to go read a romance novel drink some chardonnay. Hey, get those cookies whenever the hell you feel like it-- even 20 minutes wouldn't be so bad," and you are not helping my resolve to drink tea and have one of the cookies I stayed up until 1 a.m. re-mixing, re-cutting, re-decorating and re-baking instead.

Seriously, though, as funny as you are blogging drunk, I really hope you are feeling much better today. *hug*

jess said...

I can't believe I didn't think of doing this.

TB said...

I hope the hangover isn't killing you and that you are feeling better about things.

mothergoosemouse said...

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT COLORING BOOK? Must. Have. Book.

Dude, I hope you are feeling better.

Dawn said...

“Are you going to work today?” was the first question I was asked this morning.
“Yeah. I just have to suck It up and get my ass in there.”

Yes. Big girls who decided to get themselves drunk on a Work night, must rise to face the consequences of their actions. No matter how much it hurts. And it does.

Let’s just say that I wasn’t able to do my morning yoga today. And I can’t remember if I took the Prozac. So I don’t want to take a double dose, so I will just wait until tomorrow.

And Elizabeth asks what’s that thing coming out of my hand? My common sense, apparently. No, really, I think it must be one of the deck chairs. I was sitting on the porch steps pounding the last of the wine.

Things got a little foggy after that. Well, actually more like fuzzy. And golden colored. Like the wine.

There was a gauntlet thrown down as I was falling asleep regarding if I would be sick or not…Any guesses?

Fraulein N said...

I like how the pictures get all tilty and blurry towards the end. Makes me feel like I'm there with you, chugging that wine.

And yes, WHERE did you get that coloring book? Soooo awesome.

Jess Riley said...

As the kids used to say in the seventies, I got 'faced last Wednesday night and suffered the workday consequences on Thursday.

You're very poetic when drunk! I so wish I were going to Blogher to share a case of wine with you & the cool kids. :)

Mignon said...

Did it work? Did it dull the pain? It dulled my pain, if that's any consolation. Your writing made me feel a little buzzed too. Contact high.

Lisa said...

I LOVE your haircut!

Entertaining as usual.

Hope you felt ok the next day!

E. said...

I, too, love your haircut. More importantly, I want to get drunk with you.

I also want to try drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself. Great idea. (Nice chest shot, too.)

the other mrs b said...

Givers Rule! Thanks for everything.

mama_tulip said...

The Gangsta Rap Colouring Book made me pee a little.

Now I got the hankerin' for some wine. Mmmmm...mama gets all sloppy on wine.

Ruth Dynamite said...

Very very funny. GOOD for you. Sometimes you've just gotta...let go a little. Let your hair down. Guzzle a little vino. Grab the camera...

Marcie said...

Wsa that Biggie and Tupac in the the coloring book? I should try drunk blogging, it looks fun.

charles blunt said...

Your soooooooooo talented ,a whole bottle of wine and you can still type and take pics .

Nancy said...

I bet you DID get sick. From all that liquid sloshing around if nothing else. Am I right?

tracey said...

"Getting Sloshed-a photo essay."
Love it.
Do you still have a headache?

Beth said...

oh yay! wine is fun, indeed. and i like the fact the the fuzzy glow one feels afterward is always tinted the color of the wine you drank.

jen said...

I have a feeling i can add, "talk to jess & me tomorro morning- we'll compare wine hangovers" as tonight is veronica Mars season finale at her house.

Like yo hair. Big Pimpin. Who have you that coloring book??

jen said...

I'm gonna have "your body is a taco stand" stuck in my head now. thanks, esereth.

Sugarmama said...

Glad I don't know that song. But seriously, you are such a charming drunk! Anytime you're down here in beautiful NC I'm buyin'!

Manic Mom said...

OMG, LOVE YOU! This post is hilarious! I'm looking at the wine glass and bottle and it's like a liquid porno where they are wooing one another!

Also, I blogged once about Your Body is a Wonderland. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that song. Did you know he wrote it about Jennifer Love Hewitt when they were together. That little piece of info almost ruined the song for me because I always pretended he was singing to me! LOL. Will be stopping by often! Found you from sugarmama above!

wordgirl said...

If wine has many, many good vitamins in it, then I must be the healthiest woman in ALL THE LAND!

 
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